Crestfallen

5: How.

*****

"Give me a month and I'll give you a reason to not end your life."

Conan can't help but to replay what happened last night, as he lay on his bed. He ruffled his hair in frustration. He had done it. He made a deal with Haibara without thinking. Right, he made the deal out of the blue, and he has no bloody idea what to do now.

True enough, he was sincere about it though. He wants her to value her life. He doesn't want her to die. But really, a problem has risen. What will he do to change her mind? And only a month at that?

He gets up as he looked outside the window. It was still dawn, still early for him to get up. But since the feeling of sleep was already gone, he got up and headed for the kitchen. A cup of coffee would be a good distraction.

*****

He was outside Hakase's house before he knew it. He contemplated a bit before going inside.

Hakase was in the living room enjoying his tea. He looked around, his eyes instantly searching the scientist. She was nowhere in sight. His heart pounded a little.

"Hakase! Where's Haibara?" he asked startling the scientist. 

The professor scanned the room before answering, "Ai-kun? Maybe she's in her room. It's still early after all."

Conan didn't feel at ease. He quickly headed to her room, not minding the curious look that the professor was giving him. 

"Haibara! Haibara!" he called as he knock on her door. The pounding on his chest strengthened.

He was about to turn around to get the key from the professor when the door opened slightly. The scientist was peering from the gap, her eyes showed a mixture of annoyance and boredom.

"What?" she asked flatly.

Conan let out a quick breathe before he pushed opened the door. He let himself in, which earned a death glare from the girl.

"As far as I know, I didn't invite you in. What are you doing here anyway, and at this early time?" she said coldly.

Conan ignored her mocking tone. "What took you so long to open the door?! I almost had a heart attack!" he exclaimed as he glared at her.

"Oh...then I should have opened the door longer." She replied sarcastically.

Conan glared at her. "Seriously..." he hissed. "I was worried, damn it." he whispered to himself, but it still reached Haibara's ear.

She was surprised, but she did not show it. 'Really, Kudo-kun. You should stop acting so kind towards me. It's making me fuzzy.'

"Get out." she stated flatly, as she gestured towards the door for him to step outside.

Conan stared bewilderedly at her.
She stared back.

They stared for each other for some time, each one trying to read whatever was on each other's mind.

Haibara sighed. "Really, Kudo-kun. I need to get changed. Unless you want to watch me strip here, then go ahead and stay." she stated playfully which caused the detective to develop a deep shade of red.

He turned around quite quickly, and before the scientist knew it, he was out of the room already.

Haibara held out a laugh.

'He's still easily flustered.'

*****

When she got out of her room fully ready to go to school, she was surprised to see the detective still there. She purposely slowed her actions to make the detective go away. But no, Conan was sitting in the sofa, watching a soccer game when she came out.

She headed towards the kitchen to get some coffee.

Conan noticed her.
"Took you long enough. Do you usually move so slow?" he asked.

Haibara turned to look at him and crossed her arms on her chest before replying, "Well, I apologize. I am not oriented that I should have moved more quickly. What are you still doing here anyway?" she asked as she continued to walk towards the kitchen, not even waiting for Conan to reply.

In reality, she was still feeling giddy about what happened last night. Conan looked so serious when he tried to stop her from jumping off the cliff. It took all her willpower to not show a blush whenever she looks at him. She knew she was falling even more.

'Please Kudo-kun. Stop acting this way.' she silently pleaded as she prepared a coffee. She was hoping that the bitterness from the coffee would take all these unnecessary feelings that was forming in her chest.

*****

After some time, she was ready to go to school. She went to her room go get her bag, then headed out. She didn't even glanced nor talked to the detective. For all she know, he was still enjoying watching the television.

So she was surprised when she felt his presence behind. She was tempted to look back and check if it was really him, but she held it in. She continued to walk, but this time she deviate from her route, yet she can still feel him. After a few minutes, she was not able to restrain herself. She turned around to look back. True enough, Conan was walking just a few meters away from her.

He stopped when she stopped.

"Really, Kudo-kun. What are you doing?"

He looks a bit surprised at her sudden question.  "I'm going to school." he answered innocently.

"And your definition of going to school is following me, is that right?" she asked suspiciously.

"What? No!" he answered as he fix his glasses. 

"Oh? If you noticed, this is not the way to school anymore." she stated flatly with her brows raised.

The detective was taken aback. He was not paying attention to his surroundings earlier, his mind was just preoccupied with following her. He scanned around. It was indeed not the way to school. He looked at her. She was waiting for his reply.

"Ah... " He was having trouble formulating his answer. 

Haibara sighed. "Kudo-kun, I'm not going to kill myself just yet. We still have a deal, remember?"

"Right." Conan mumbled as he look at her. 

'But you still want to kill yourself. How will I stop you?' he thought grimly.

*****

A/N: I am running out of time, strength and ideas. Life's been so shitty, I just wanna sleep. But what the bloody hell, my work is calling me. I wanna cry and laugh, it's making me insane. HAHAHAHAHA. SAVE ME.

But still, I love you for reading this. ❤❤❤