Crestfallen

14: Tell me.

*****

Day 6.

It was now two in the morning, and the detective was still wide awake. Sleep is unreachable at the moment. Thousands of thoughts were endlessly circling in his mind.

He felt the scientist stirred again in her sleep. Seems like she was having a dream again. She was mumbling something intelligible again, and Conan cannot help but be curious at what she was saying.

He leaned over at her face to hear her more, but by the time his face neared hers, Haibara's eyes suddenly shut opened.

They were staring at each other face to face, only centimeters apart. Each seems to be in too much shock to move. The detective felt his face reddened into deep shades, yet Haibara's gaze seems to act like a magnet,  immobilizing him. Haibara, on the other hand, seems to have difficulty comprehending the situation. Sleep was still on her system, and she was having trouble distinguishing dream from reality. 

Time seems to slow down as the two stared at each other. It was Conan who composed himself first.

He pulled his head away as he faked a cough, and scratched the back of his head. He was sure his face was deep red. Haibara stared incredulously at him, still not moving.
After a minute, she snapped back to reality.

"Wh-what?  K-Kudo-kun?" she stuttered, failing miserably in forming a coherent question. 

'Kudo-kun's awake?'

"Y-yo...Haibara." he stated awkwardly. 

'Geez... why the heck am I awkward about?' he asked mentally. He wanted to smack himself.

Haibara sits up properly as she continued to stare at him.

"Kudo-kun?" she whispered as she unknowingly lifted a hand to hold his face. She wanted to hold him, to assure herself that it is not a dream.

Conan, on the other hand, blushed to impossible shades of red as he felt the warmth of her hand on his face.

Haibara seems to realize what s he had just done because she immediately withdraw her hand away, a tint of pink evident on her cheeks. 

"Sorry. I moved without thinking." she whispered, not looking at him. 

Conan stared at her.  'Gods, just when I'm confused about my feelings. Why do you have to act this way?' he asked mentally in frustration.

He scanned around. 'Why is the professor taking too long to get here? Gods, I feel so awkward.'

'It's two in the morning, dimwit. Of course, the professor is busy snoring in his sleep.' That voice again.

Haibara, on the other hand, seems to misunderstand his silence. 

'What is he thinking?  Is he mad at me?' she was too scared to ask. 

She mustered all her courage to put on a poker face. 

"Kudo-kun, I'm glad that you're awake. Everyone was worried, you know."

"Uhm... yeah."

"Sorry." She whispered loud enough for him to hear. 

Conan felt his jaw clenched. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because it's my fault." she answered casually. 

"Again with that." he answered with clenched teeth.  "How many times would I have to tell you that it is not your fault?! Come on, Haibara, we all know it's that mad man's fault. "

"And we could've not meet that man if it wasn't for me."

"I was the one who brought you to that place, remember? Then it must be my fault." Conan interjected.

Haibara averted her gaze. "You don't understand." She whispered but Conan heard her anyway. 

"I don't understand what?" he asked. He was slowly losing his patience in their conversation.

"Nothing." she mumbled before attempting to stand up. 'That I am a curse, and that I will just bring misfortune to those with me. Gin was right, Kudo-kun.'

But before she had even has the chance to stand up, Conan caught her wrist. "We are not done talking yet. Where are you going? Just stay right here." he asked, his hold on her becoming tighter.

He hated it. He hated that Haibara hates herself.  It was obvious that she was being so hard on herself, and he really hated it.

What can I do? 

"Why?" he asked. 

"What 'why' Kudo-kun?" she answered. 

"Why do I feel like you wanted to walk away from me?" he asked in a seriously low voice, just loud enough for the scientist to hear. 

If Haibara was surprised, she did not show it. She forced herself to put on a poker face, but really deep inside her heart was hammering on her chest. 

Why does she feel like the detective was full of sadness when he asked her that? Does that mean he did not want her to walk away? 

Oh gods, there she was again with her hopes. 

"Hey... " Conan said as he nudge her hand.

She looked at him. 'This man, what did I do to deserve this chance of having met him?'

"Haibara... " he called again, this time leaning over her. His face was getting nearer, and Haibara unknowingly fought down a blush. 

"W-what?" she stuttered. 

"Tell me. Tell me all about your fears, what you really feel. Your dreams...all of it. I want to get to know you much more, Hai. If I really don't understand it just like you have said, then I'll do everything to get to understand. Make me understand everything then. Just don't walk away from me." Conan replied seriously and unknowingly. He was blurting out all that is in his head without thinking. 

Screw everything else, he just don't want to lose this person beside him. She already had a great part on his life and he wanted it to stay that way.

*****

A/N: I am so overwhelmed with all the love and support you all have given me. This is too much. As a thanks, this update is for you. ❤❤❤