Crestfallen

13: Crazy

*****

Two days had passed since the case, yet the detective was still unconscious. Everybody was getting worried. Why was the detective not waking up?

Haibara, on one hand, was the most worried of all. She can’t help but be angry at herself. She cannot find a will to eat nor sleep, and the professor as well as the detective boys are worried about her. They knew that she was still blaming herself in the event. They tried hard to console her, but to no avail. She was slowly shutting them all in.

What can they do to help her?

*****

Day 5. 11:23 PM.

The hospital was quiet, and only the beeping sound of the machine can be heard. Due to exhaustion, Haibara fell asleep while looking out for the detective. Hakase went home earlier to get some things and prepare some food. He will be back early in the morning.

Then all of a sudden, the detective’s finger started to move slightly. After a second, the detective slowly opened his eyes. He was temporarily blinded by the light, but after some time, his vision adjusted. The white ceiling greeted him. He closed his eyes for a moment, and recalled what happened.

‘Right. I was stabbed. I must be in the hospital then.’ He thought as he tried to move, but in doing so felt a pain in his side. He grimaced, the pain was terrible, but still tolerable.

He then noticed the sleeping figure at his side. Haibara Ai was slumped in a chair, peacefully sleeping, with her head and arms resting on his bed. She looked tired and uncomfortable in her position. He slowly and silently gets his upper body up without waking up the scientist. He felt pain on his side as he rested his back at the bed’s headboard.

He scanned the room, just to find it empty. ‘The professor must have gone home.’ He deduced.

His eyes then returned to the sleeping scientist, and he felt his lips curved in a smile as he continued to observe her. She was tired, he can see.

‘She must have been tired watching over me. Knowing her, she might have blamed herself endlessly for what happened.’

He then felt the urge to caress her face, to run his hands on her obviously velvet hair. As if it has a mind on its own, his hand seems to move toward her face, but before he had the chance to touch her face, his hand stopped in midair as realization seeped through his system.

He shook his head, his hand still on midair. ‘What the hell am I doing?’ he asked as he felt a blush slowly developing on his face.

He can’t help but think that she looks so beautiful while sleeping. ‘Wait…what?’

He was in a battle with his inner self when he felt Haibara stirred in her sleep. He instinctively caught his breath.

‘Why did I feel nervous suddenly?’

“Kudo-kun…” Haibara mumbled in her sleep.

Unknowingly, he felt his face reddened at what she said.

‘Is she dreaming…of me?’ he asked as he leaned over to hear her more clearly.

“Please, be safe…Kudo-kun…No, don’t go…It’s my fault…No…” Haibara continued to talk in her sleep. There were traces of tears now on her eyes.

Conan stopped on his tracks. ‘She’s blaming herself even in her sleep. This silly woman.’

He can’t help but be angry at how cruel she can be to herself.

This time, his hand moved instinctively. He was stroking her hair gently, wanting to calm the scientist. And slowly, as if feeling the warmth given by the detective, Haibara began to calm down and return in her peaceful sleep.

*****

Conan watched her sleep after that. He looked at the clock. It was one in the morning.

His eyes darted on her hand that was resting on his bed. Again, he felt that strong urge to hold and play with her hand. And again he finds himself questioning, ‘Just what the hell is happening to me?’

He shook his head.

His mind flashbacked to what happened. ‘How long it has been since then?’ he asked as he scanned his surroundings, looking for clues.

He thought of what happened. Honestly, he had no idea how the hell it happened. When he saw that the man was aiming to stab Haibara, it was as if his body moved in its own accord to protect her. What might have happened if he was too late?

Unknowingly, he felt a pain starting to form in his chest. The very thought of losing Haibara seems to punch a hole in his chest. And there was that eerie feeling again. These last few days, he was feeling a tad giddy whenever he saw Haibara. That time he promised her that he’ll find a reason for her to live. It was as if his mind and body was moving on its own. He wanted the scientist to value her life more. He wanted her to see her worth just as much as he sees her. He was busy on his inner thoughts when he realized something.

‘Wait. Why am I feeling this way? No way…Am I falling…for Haibara Ai?’ he asked himself incredulously, as he continued to stare at the sleeping scientist.

*****

As the realization slowly registered in his system, Conan can’t help but to stare wide-eyed at the scientist.

‘Am I really? But what about Ran? I love her, right?’

His head started to hurt from confusion. Just what is really happening?  Yes, the chances of her being with Ran seems impossible now because of his shrunken state, but still Ran was the one he loves... right? 

Again, he stared at the scientist.

Yes, Haibara has always been at his side everytime he needs her. She was always there whenever he wanted to talk, she was there whenever he wanted advice. He reminisced all his times with her, and unknowingly, he felt a smile slowly spreading in his face. 

All her snarl remarks, her evil glare and her sarcastic comments came crashing in his mind, and he can't help but smile wider.

'Whoah... no way." he denied to himself.

'Why not? She has always been by your side?  For sure, she had earned a special space in your heart now, isn't it?' a voice at the back of his mind seems to counter. 

'Yeah, b-but..." he tried to answer mentally.

The voice cut him again, 'What's so bad about it? Why are you hesitating?'

'It's just that... Ran...'

'You can not be with Ran anymore, and  for goodness' sake, try to be more honest with yout feelings. Did you seriously think that your love for Ran haven't wavered all these years?' that voice again, and he hates to admit, but it's making sense.

He was about to retort back, when he realized that he was acting stupid talking to himself.

'Gods, this is absurd. I'm going crazy.'

*****

A/N: A much earlier update because its September tomorrow. :) I am not feeling well, and really, I need comfort. Hahahahaha.. (Whatever).

I hope you like it. Please tell me what you think about this chapter. ❤❤❤