Love in Sanders bloom (Book 1)

I let him go

Jake came into the room. My back was facing him. 

"Jen don't do this."

"You have to go." I try to keep the tears in.

"I can stay. I still have to wait for my car. I can stay as long as you want me to."

"No. You have to go. Just go." I crossed my arms holding myself.

"Jen look at me."

"Jake I can't do this. You have to go. You have a life in L.A. They need you there. You can't stay." 

"Jen please."

"I can't give you what you are looking for. It's not going to work...." 

Of course I didn't mean any of it. I was breaking inside telling him all of this. But things will be complicated if he leaves. 

"We can still be together Jen."

"I'm sorry. Goodbye Jake."

I storm out of the house in tears and I left.

Jake's pov:

When Jen left me it broke me. I know it was because she was scared to get hurt again. But I thought she trusted me enough to stay with me. Even when it was going to be complicated. Bryan hurt her a lot I know that. But I wasn't going to do the same to her. But she still doesn't believe it. I tried to go after her but she was already gone.

I went back inside to my sister. 

"Jake what's going on?"

"I guess I can explain on the plane."

"Wait. Is she your girlfriend?"

"She was." 

"I'm confused."

"Lets just go." 

I went to get my things and we left.

Jen's pov:

I went to my spot. I sat on the rock with my legs up staring at the view. The tears just kept coming. Letting Jake go was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was madly in love with him. But I don't even know if he feels the same. I heard someone behind me. And I just knew it was El.

"You let him go didn't you?"

I just nod my head and sat there crying.

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

"It's because you think he's going to do the same to you then Bryan did, right?"

"Yes." I paused for a bit. "I can't let it happen again. I'll rather be without him than wondering if he's cheating or talking to other woman in a romantic way. It's going to kill me and drive me insane. I need to trust Jake completely before we can even try to be in a long distant relationship. I can't do it El. I can't be with him and not trusting him enough."

She sits next to me and wrap her arm around me. 

"Jen he cares about you."

"I know. But I'm still having doubts. If he comes back to me. Then I know he loves me too. But for now. It's what it is." 

"Wait. You love him?"

"So much. It's why I let him go."

"I still have to go shopping. Max said he doesn't wanna go shopping with me. I have no idea why?"

I laughed "I don't blame him. Your the worst person to go shopping with." 

"At least your laughing. Will you come with me?"

"Yeah. Lets call B too."

"That's a great idea."

She hugs me and we left. I called B and told her we are picking her up in a few and we picked her up. We filled her in on everything along the way and we went shopping. 

******

Sunday morning El was getting everything ready. I was at her house and she was busy packing the last things. When she was done she joins me on the bed.

"You be good now ok."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me El."

"I'll always worry about you Jen."

"I'll be ok. I have B and Liv to keep me busy."

"And I made sure they will."

"I know. You know B is not very good at keeping secrets."

She laughs "Yes. I know."

She gets up and pull me up. She hugs me tight. 

"I'm going to miss you so much."

I start to cry and hug her tighter. "Me too El. Take care of yourself."

"You too. I'll call you every night ok."

"Ok. Good luck with your audition." 

"Thanks."

She takes her bags and Max helps her to get everything in the car. A taxi is driving them to the airport. Max hugs me goodbye too and they left. I walked home and got a bottle of wine, movies and pizza. I went home and poured me a glass of wine. I put a movie on and ate a slice of pizza. 

I went to bed after the movie and I stared at the ceiling.

I wish Jake was here.

I started crying and continued till I fell asleep.

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