Famille

° 31

Something was always changing in the Phoenix household. It was like, whenever something happened the house could feel it too and adjusted. It was like it had feelings. Or maybe everyone's change in mood always meshed together and our attitudes were bouncing off each other. It was suffocating. After I "ran away" it was like suddenly everyone wanted to be nicer to me. Wanted to include me in things. Wanted to make me feel less alone.

It was suffocating.

Cameron all but dragged me to the movies with his group of friends which was just...weird. Cameron and I didn't talk much. Maybe sometimes when we were at home, about TV, or what we wanted to eat or just small mindless chatter here and there but we didn't talk. It was more so we made conversation because of the fact that I lived there. But I wasn't interested in forming relationships with these people.

I wouldn't.

I couldn't.

Riley had been an accidental bond formed by us sharing the same room. It was inevitable in my opinion. But I was distancing myself. At least I was trying. Riley was relentless. He was just like his father. Overbearing. Smothering. Suffocating. But sometimes Riley knew when to back off whilst Derrick wanted to prod and prod until you were shouting a confession.

I think the only person who just left me alone and didn't bother with me was Carter. The oldest out the three. He wasn't home a lot but when he was he goofed off with his brothers, talked with his dad, and drummed incessantly on his kit that was on the balcony. I thought that maybe he just didn't care. Didn't notice me.

But, I was wrong.

Carter was an observer. A snake in the grass. It was last night that he made it inherently clear that I hadn't slipped under his radar.

I was sitting on the balcony letting the cool air brush across my face. I thought everyone had went to bed, the Phoenix's slept early. I hear the door slide open behind me and seconds later a figure stands in front of me, in a T-shirt and sweatpants. Carter was tall. Unnecessarily tall. And it didn't help he was lanky. I could see the bit of tattoos coloring his arms as he crossed them over his chest.

He was looking down at me as I sat in the chair with my legs folded under me. Staring. Calculating. He and his father had that in common. It was unnerving being that we didn't talk that much nor were ever in each others presence long enough to not make it less uncomfortable. I pick at my fingers wishing he'd just go back inside.

"I feel like you think I don't notice you," Carter's voice breaks the silence. His voice was deep. Smooth. Almost sounding a little too old for his age, "I know we dont talk much and it probably feels like I'm not even here but I am, Aaron."

I swallow. His voice softens at the end when he says my name. The most interaction I can remember from Carter was a few weeks back when I decided to come back and they all came downstairs that morning and embraced me in hugs. Cameron practically squeezed me until I couldn't breathe and Carter simply gave me a quick side hug and a pat on the shoulder. As if to say "Glad you're back."