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"How confidential are the things we speak about in here–during these sessions, I mean."
Jane sets down the folder she was flipping through seemingly surprised that I spoke first. I had surprised myself if I were being honest.
"I'm only obligated to break our confidentially agreement if I feel like you're a danger to yourself or others, or if I think you might be in danger," her lips pressed into a thin line. Her eyes were calculating, "Like, if I felt as though you were going to harm yourself or someone else. Or if someone was harming you," Things like that."
I nod halfheartedly. It was like everything went through one ear and then out the other. I couldn't focus on anything recently. We had only been here for about half an hour and I mostly just stared at the floor and mumbled out things I thought sounded right. Jane had to regain my attention twice before she asked me if I were on any illegal substances.
My anxiety was through the roof. I hadn't any problems with it in a while but lately I was always on edge. I felt like somehow everyone knew. I didn't tell Rylie because he had important tests coming up and I didn't want to worry him but I was sure he could find out how to remedy this. Half moons were indented in my palms, I was vomiting from stress, and twice this week have I had to bring myself down from having a panic attack while everyone was out.
"I'm pregnant."
It was like time stopped in Jane's home office and she folds her hands in her lap. Somehow I'm able to release a breath and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Jane purses her lips and I watch her eyes flit from my stomach back to me.
"None of them are the father. Derrick and his sons. It's not them," I rush out the words.
She nods, "How long have you known?"
"Since the end of August. I took a test."
"Have you told anyone? Is Mr. Phoenix aware?"
"No," I half lie.
"Do you know who the father is?"
"Yes. But he doesn't want to be involved and I don't want him involved. I haven't been to the doctor to check on it and I don't even know if I want to keep it but I can't just abort it. I don't want to do that again and–"
"Aaron. Breathe. In and out. Count to to three and release. Teen pregnancy can be very stressful and I want but first, I need you to understand that abortion is hard action for one to go through but sometimes its better for both the mother and the fetus."
"You have to say that."
"No, I don't. I could sit here and condemn you but I like to believe I'm very open minded and not to involve my own beliefs and politics but I am Pro-choice. You have a right to do whatever you wish to your body."
"Not always.”
"Can you elaborate?"
I sighed taking in a deep breath, "I...I've been pregnant before and the person who had gotten me pregnant forced me to abort it."
