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I paced the bathroom floor. It was just reaching one in the morning and I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack. I clenched my fist over and over. I gripped at my hair. I had been in here since twelve. I kept the shower running so no one would bother me. I looked at the box sitting on the back of toilet and I just couldn't do it. A pang hits my chest. I couldn't. But I needed to. I had to. This whole ordeal was driving me to the brink of insanity. I take a deep breath.
You have to do this.
•••
A hand on my shoulder was shaking me awake. Roughly. I nestle myself deeper into my covers but then moments later the shaking begins again along with the urgent whisper of my name. I groan and crack open an eye. The room was still relatively dark with a faint hint of light coming in. It was morning. I could tell. I feel a weight on the bed. I twist around and surprise flits across my features when I see its Rylie.
His eyes met mine and then surprise turns into worry. His leg was bouncing he was gnawing on his bottom lip, "What?" I sit up and rub my eyes. He only gives me brief seconds of eye contact before his eyes look every where else. It was like he couldn't concentrate.
"Rylie, what?" I press the question again my voice still thick with sleep.
He swallows, his Adams apple bobs. He gets up quickly and closes his door locking it. My brows furrow and on instinct my body locks and I feel on guard. He sits back down and gives me an expression of what looked to be concern. Also fear. I go to speak but he does before I can.
"Y-you left this in the bathroom," he stumbles over his words and I note its truly the first time I've ever seen Rylie actually flustered. My brows draw together then I look at his outstretched hand and go rigid. My heartbeat spikes. The hairs on my arms stand at attention.
"Where did you get this?!" I hiss as I snatch the stick from his hand. I was careful to keep my voice down not wanting to alarm the other men in the house.
"I just told you, you left it in the bathroom," he gives me a somber look. I felt like I was going to be sick.
How could I have been so careless. How could I have been so stupid. After I did my business I was feeling tired. Cameron came pounding on the door exclaiming that he needed to relieve himself so I quickly tossed it into the trash. He was bleary eyed and surely wouldn't notice it. I went back to the bedroom as to not look suspicious but what turned out to be just a few minutes of me waiting for Cameron to finish using the bathroom somehow turned into me getting hours of sleep.
Now it took another turn I didn't expect.
"It was laying on the floor," Rylie explains to me, "I thought it was our thermometer so of course I picked it up and then..." He looked at me somberly.
