YuZhou Fan Fics

Breakdown

Just as heartbroken as Zhouzhou, Jingyu almost lost himself. Every day he drunk himself away hoping it would wash away the pain. Unfortunately, the booze works like magic in growing the pain.

Zhouzhou looks fine, at least from the news he got his hands on. But he knows that beautiful ex-lover of his is just in much pain as he is. He never blames Zhouzhou for a second. He could blame himself but he stopped. It won't change anything.

He's wasted on his couch. The same couch they had their final talk. He wishes he could just burn the couch so he could forget that night. But that same couch also brings a lot of beautiful memories. Memories he doesn't want to forget.

Sometimes he thought if they could ever be friends. Perhaps it would be less painful. But it could also be more painful. That's why he never counter their decision to lose touch. 

Someone opens the door and he knows for sure it won't be Zhouzhou. But does it stop his heart from hoping? Absolutely not.

His manager comes over just like usual. The only people who know their breakup so far are their managers. They haven't even told their parents. 

"I can't believe you're drunk again. You need to take care of yourself, Jingyu. You're a grown-up man for God's sake."

"Don't worry. I'm not drunk. I drink but not drunk, get it?" Jingyu states an answer. He's really not drunk. He knows his limit.

"You've been drinking a lot."

Jingyu gulps another beer. "I tried to forget but whenever I drink, I seem to remember him more. Isn't that funny? Why can't it wash away all the pain?"

"Then why do you keep drinking? If that doesn't work, you should stop. It's bad for you."

The manager tries to take the bottle from Jingyu's hand but it's not Jingyu if he doesn't put up a fight.

"No, no, no. You don't get it. It'll get worse if I don't drink," Jingyu puts on his serious face, "I'll cry."

"Then cry. For God's sake, Jingyu. Just cry and get it over with." 

Jingyu shakes his head slowly and explains like he's talking to a 5 years old. "I can't cry. I can't cry now. He'll blame himself if I cried."

"He won't know. I won't tell anyone so cry your heart out. Don't keep it to yourself. I know it's painful."

His manager sits beside Jingyu. These days, Jingyu works his butt out. He works diligently. He smiles a lot. No one else knows how broken that guy every night and every time he's alone.

"I can't. I know he's crying now so I need to get stronger."

The manager can't take it anymore and shakes Jingyu's body. "Please wake up. Pull yourself together. You don't need to get stronger. Just move on. Please. He'd want you to move on. Please."

"But if I cry, everything will become real. I don't want to cry," Jingyu bits his lower lip so he could contain the tears forming in his eyes. 

It's true that he doesn't want Zhouzhou to know he's crying. But more importantly, he knows for sure that once he cries, everything will start to become real and he won't be able to stop. He won't be able to stop his heart from breaking to pieces once the first piece falls out.

Jingyu doesn't want to cry but his manager's eyes start to get wet because of him. To be honest, everyone will cry seeing how broken Jingyu and Zhouzhou are right now. They don't deserve it yet it happened.

"Fine. You don't want to cry, don't. I'll accompany you. Drink to your heart content. Let's get drunk tonight."

Jingyu chuckles like a madman that his manager gets scared for a second. It will be really bad if Jingyu goes insane.

"The funny thing is, although I drink every night, I never let myself drunk. I can't get drunk. I'm scared I will do something stupid. What if I get so drunk I start calling him? What if I said something stupid?"

Hearing the reason makes Jingyu's manager cries. It's just too much. Seeing how happy they were and now this? How could heaven be so cruel? They shouldn't experience heaven if they're going to get thrown out of it so soon. 

Yes, they're getting thrown out. It's not like they walk out of it willingly although it's their decision.

"Just get drunk tonight. I'll stay to make sure you won't do anything you'll regret. Give me your phone."

Jingyu hesitates for a second before he hands over his phone. He really needs to get wasted. So wasted that he won't remember a thing. Not even remember if he cried tonight.