YuZhou Fan Fics

Guilty 1

It's already late when Zhouzhou got back to his place. It's really dark since it's supposed to be empty. He turns on the lights and heads back to the kitchen. He grabs one bottle of water and walks toward his bedroom.

He almost choke himself when he saw a figure laying on top of his bed. Zhouzhou immediately wipes the spilled water on his face and shirt when he recognised it was just Jingyu. He thought someone was breaking into his room and now he sighes a relief as he knows it's his boyfriend. There's something he needs to talk about with Jingyu anyway so he's glad that guy is here.

Jingyu is sleeping like a dead body. No movement whatsoever. Zhouzhou thought he's just tired until he saw Jingyu's face closely.

There was a trace of tears and especially that swollen eyes prove it. Zhouzhou knew for sure that Jingyu's been crying himself out until he fell asleep. Afraid of something serious had happened, Zhouzhou forces himself to wake the guy up. As gently as possible. He's so worried since Jingyu's not the type to cry. He always acts tough so unless it's something serious, he won't cry.

"Jingyu," he called softly. His hand slightly touches Jingyu's cheek. The different temperature jolts Jingyu a little but not enough to wake him up. He must be so tired of crying.

"Jingyu, wake up," Zhouzhou calls again.

Hearing Zhouzhou's voice, Jingyu gets his conscious back but he still can't open his eyes. Too heavy because of the swollen.

"Zhouzhou?" Jingyu signs he's awake with his hoarse voice.

"Jeez, Jingyu. What's wrong with you? Did you cry?" Zhouzhou tries to make it light.

Jingyu grabs the hand that's been touching him and forces himself to smile. "I'm fine now you're here."

Hearing that only makes Zhouzhou worried. There's definitely something's going on. "No, tell me what happened. I won't let you off just like that."

Jingyu, still troubled seeing, sits himself up. "It's nothing. Just something stupid. I'm fine now."

Zhouzhou doesn't buy it and demands a full explanation. Right here right now.

"I... I really want to be there for you," Jingyu starts his ambiguous explanation after a brief silent. "But why can't I be there for you when you need me? I'm sick with this stupid rule. I just want to be a good boyfriend for you. I want to be there for you. Cheer you up. Be your strength."

After that explanation, Zhouzhou sorts of guess that Jingyu knew what he's gonna talk about tonight. He bets his manager told Jingyu earlier even though he already said not to. He understands his manager's worry for him and his fan signing event since that manager already knew what kind of person Zhouzhou is. Zhouzhou won't just back down without a fight. And it's as stubborn as a bull. Telling Jingyu will be the best option since that guy will do anything to keep Zhouzhou safe.

At first, Zhouzhou wanted to discuss this with Jingyu before he makes a final decision. He's not stupid so he knows the risk and what the best option is. But he still wants to try and find another way as not to lose from the stupid rule as Jingyu put it. Now it seems Jingyu already made a decision. From those swollen eyes, Zhouzhou could imagine how angry and guilty Jingyu felt when he reached that decision.

"If you want to come, just come. I won't ask you to leave," Zhouzhou speaks gently.

Jingyu hugs Zhouzhou tightly. It's almost like he's begging for help himself. "I want to come. I do. But as your manager said, I will ruin everything. That's your day. That's your time to shine. I don't want to be the one who ruin it."

"If that's your decision... It's not like I couldn't understand so you must know I won't blame you for that. So why the cry?"

Jingyu stays silent for a while. He's not sure what to say. He didn't even know what he thought about when he cried. A lot of sudden thoughts popped up.

"Because, it's just too unfair. I want to be there for your big day. I've been waiting for that day since forever. I want to be with you during all of your important moments. But why can't I? What's with this stupid ban? Why us? What did we ever do? I just want them to leave us alone."

Zhouzhou could relate to that. He too feels it's unfair. It might seems like they are free but in reality they are like convicts. People watch their every move and the judgement could come anytime soon. The whole world is their jail. It's a tiring thing and with no way out.

"We decided to be free. We decided to be true to ourselves. But what's this? I can't do anything I want. I can't let you risk your future. Since you've prepared so much for this. I just..." Jingyu couldn't stop his blabbering. He's too upset.

"Jingyu... I want you to be there with me. That will be perfect. But I also know it's not wise. I planned to talk it out with you. To find another way. But right now, to be honest, I don't think there's another way." Jingyu calms himself as he stare into Zhouzhou's calming eyes. Tonight, Zhouzhou is more mature than him. "But this is just a beginning. There will be another opportunity for us. Don't let this bring you down."

Those two had been accepting their circumstances. It's not a normal thing anyway so they just tried to understand the negative responses. But they still don't get it why it has to be them. They are not the first actor that acted on boys love movie. They are not doing any campaign about it. They are not powerful people. They are not the richest. Their existences simply couldn't bring the nation down. They did nothing except they are in love with each other. And it's not like they are confessing their love publicly. So to summarise, they did nothing wrong.

But Jingyu just felt so useless and helpless today. He's fine with people pointing finger at him and he believes Zhouzhou is ready for this as well. They both are strong men. He's fine with people hating him. Looking at him with disgusted eyes. They are free to judge them and it won't bother them one bit.

It's just, right now, he can't do anything to retaliate. He doesn't even know where to point his anger at so he could only blame himself and cry. And when he started to cry, it was hard to stop with all negatives things popped up inside his head.

Looking at gloomy Jingyu pains Zhouzhou's heart. He always lean on Jingyu's strength and cheerfulness. Jingyu's always positive and it makes Zhouzhou's stronger. So tonight, it's time for Zhouzhou to be strong. He needs to be strong so he could give Jingyu some strength.

"I can't do anything for you. When you're sick, I can't even take care of you. I can't support you during your big day. I..."

Zhouzhou cups Jingyu's face with his hands. "Listen to me. You've done a lot of things for me already." Jingyu shakes his head as strong as he could denying all he ever did. It's not good enough for him. He wants to give Zhouzhou the world so he felt more useless now that he can't even be there for Zhouzhou. That one simple thing and he couldn't do it.

"It's you who took care of me really well this past days, right?"

"But," Jingyu tried to complain. "I can't do anything for you right now. During your important times, I can't do anything."

"If you put it that way, then tell me what had I ever done for you? I'm just the same with you."

Jingyu look through Zhouzhou's eyes. He knew that they did so much for each other just by committed to the relationship already but let's just say he's too greedy to do more for his boyfriend. Well, he wanted to give Zhouzhou the world. That's how much he loves that guy.

Zhouzhou plants a gentle kiss on Jingyu's forehead. "If you still don't know what to do, let me take care of you tonight," he said with a sly smile on his beautiful face.