YuZhou Fan Fics

Heartbreak

It's almost a month but the pain is still there. Lingers and has no intention to leave. Zhouzhou won't let it leave as well. He believes he deserves the pain since he believes the other guy's in more pain.

He can't remember how many nights he cried his heart out. But he'll pretend like nothing's happened the next day. He tries his best to look fine. At least he can't make everyone worried about him, especially the guy he could only talk to in his dream nowadays.

If it's the old Zhouzhou, he probably won't eat at all with all of the pains inside his heart. But he's matured thanks to someone. He knows he can't be selfish and shows a miserable state he's in. He just can't make it worse for Jingyu. Oh, how he misses calling that name. 

Today he's meeting his team for his new album. Well, life must go on, or at least it needs to look that way. He made his choice and it'll be really unfair if he loses his dream when he already lost his everything.

Time supposes to heal everything and he just hangs on to that saying. Just who the hell said that sentence in the first place? Zhouzhou wants to meet and ask them if they have proof. Because he's not sure time can heal his heart. And he's not sure whether he wants it or not.

"So, Zhou, what kind of concept do you want to go with this time?" his album director asks him.

No one really knows he broke up with JIngyu. Not those who didn't know they're together in the first place. Nor those who knew and support them.

"What about heartbreak?" Zhouzhou says like he's joking around. He tries to hide his pain whenever he talks about heart, love, heartbreak, and Jingyu.

"Well, it can always sell. I mean people love songs about heartbreak," a composer in the team answers.

"Yes, it always sells. There are a lot of people who can't get the love they want, right? Stuff happens," Zhouzhou still maintains his composure. He tries to make himself believe Jingyu and him are not the only one in pain. That it's not only them who arrive at their decision.

"Right. We just need to get something more specific so the songs will stand out. Do you have something in mind?" the director asks for Zhouzhou's opinion. 

In his team, Zhouzhou's opinion matters. At least for his career, Zhouzhou won't let anyone lead him or make a decision for him. He just won't backs down. He did it with his love and look the state his heart in right now. No, he won't compromise with his career. It's the only thing he has left.

"We can talk about it later. I will decide the direction of this album. I will make the final decision. I just want everyone's clear on that first."

"Sure. Whatever you say. But will you write the songs yourself this time or should we ask another composers and lyricists for your album?"

"You can call them. But let me decide and talk with them about the theme and concept. I don't need to have my name in every song for that since I will also write my own songs."

"No problem. We're better to start working then."

Zhouzhou just nods. So far no one notices his heartbreak. No one. That's a good thing. And this album will turn out great since he'll put his heart out for it and hopefully it can be a medium to express his feelings. He needs to express his feeling or he'll just go crazy.

The talks go on and on. There're people who make contact with other musicians to cooperate. There're people who think about the style for Zhouzhou and this album. There're people who make the plan and timeline. 

Zhouzhou already made his idea clear as crystal. They'll know what to do and the beautiful guy can go into a corner and focus on the feelings he wants to express. Perhaps he won't write all of the songs but he'll decide what every song is about. Jingyu.

Well, he needs to make sure it's subtle enough so people won't notice. It would be even better if Jingyu won't notice but whenever he thinks about that there's always a tug in his heart that wants the other guy to notice. A wish that it could bring a change to everything. A hope that it could turn everything for the better. Though he doesn't even know what's better.

The two guys lost contact and that's their decision. Perhaps they could be friends but at least not at the moment. It will kill the purpose of their break up if they still stay as friends. People will still talk and the ban still exists. They will just hurt each other.

It might be easier if they could just delete each other number but they didn't do that. They just can't do that. They can't even stop searching what's going on about the other guy. In a way, they can't forget about the other guy. 

They need to go their own ways. They know they can't be together. But their memories are killing them. Wouldn't it be better if they can just forget? But none of them want to forget.

Thinking Jingyu's living in pain because of their memories is killing him. They need to forget so they're less in pain. Jingyu needs to forget. He needs to forget Zhouzhou and it'll be even better if he could forget they ever met.

That's the first thing Zhouzhou wants to tell Jingyu so the big guy can move on. Zhouzhou himself is not sure if he can forget but he knows that's why they both need right now. 

So that's the first message and also the first song he decides for his album. 

"Jingyu, please forget about me. Just move on and be happy. Please be happy. I promise I'll be alright. I promise everything will be alright. Please stop worrying about me. I'll be the bad guy so just forget about me," Zhouzhou screams in his heart.