The Opposite Of Good

[4]Torn

Small sobs came from my lips uncontrollably as I struggled to sleep. Every time I tried to shut my eyes, all I saw was my uncle doing his evil actions to me.

After Ben was done with me, I felt torn, physically and emotionally. I ran to my room, locked my door, and leaned against it. I had pushed my chest of drawers to the door, still feeling very unsafe from him. The thought of being under the same roof as him sent fear to my soul. Ben wounded me. I was in unbelievable pain. I ran to my bathroom and locked myself in it. I took an hour long shower, feeling really dirty. It was something I did after he had sexually abused. However no amount of showing would wash away the dirt I felt inside. He left me feeling worthless.

Hoow could he possibly do this to his own niece? He was supposed to protect me from the world but instead, my uncle has become very dangerous. The one whom I need protection from.

He has become a big threat to my life. My uncle has gone completely insane, his anger fueled his mind, driving him crazy.

His anger left him hungry to see people hurt just as much as he hurts. And he lets it out in the most wrong way to the people closest to him. Me in particular. Ever since my parents died from a terrible car crash, I was devastated.

It was mom who was driving, my dad had finally given her a chance to drive his car. I remember her being very excited and told me that they'd be back in a while. She squealed in happiness when she was on the driver's seat. I even remembered how dad just rolled his eyes playfully as he glanced lovingly at his wife. A smile dancing on his lips.

I was just fifteen at that time, waiting for my parents to come back from shopping. It was sad that instead, a police officer came back and told me the terrible news. I felt like my whole world was ripped away from me so brutally. My parents cared for me and just thinking about them made me hurt even more. The pain was still fresh. My emotional wounds weren’t healed yet. I thought of them everyday, because I could never forget my mom and dad.

Ben, who was my dad's younger brother, came to live with me after the horrible crash.

At first, he was all the support I needed. He comforted me and was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. My parents' death left me so broken, torn, shattered. I didn't want to live anymore. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I couldn't live with it. Everywhere I went in the house, all I could see were my mom and dad. They were always there, I felt like I was going crazy.

However Ben was always there for me. He was the only family that cared for me and wanted me to move on with my life, to forget all the bad memories I had and cherish the happy
ones because I can never get to make any more with my parents.

However now, he has changed.

I really thought that he cared. I thought that he was the angel sent to me from heaven because I started feeling better as time passed. He made me think that he was the best uncle, whom came at the best time, helping me get over the worst time of my life. But little did I know, that it was all a façade he held on.

It all started when he found out he wasn't in neither of my parents' wills and that they did not leave him anything. He suddenly became a very angry man. I remember him breaking things in the kitchen, yelling on top of his lungs and when I asked him what was wrong, he slapped me. That was the first time he ever slapped me.

From there onwards, he became a monster. He became uncontrollable and then started sexually abusing me. He told me that if I ever told anyone about it, he'd kill all my friends and I. And I loved Kate and Leah so much, I could not let anything bad happen to them.

However Hannah from the library, she saw a few scars on my arm one day. I came up with an excuse but she saw right through me. We were the only people in the library so she sat me down and told me a story of when she was abused as a child. I blurted everything out about Ben because I felt like I was on the verge of exploding. However I could never mention that Ben also sexually abused me. The words simply wouldn’t come out.

I told Hannah because I felt like she knew what I was going through. My own uncle did this to me. The one who helped me deal with the death of my parents. How could he ever become so evil?

Sometimes I blamed myself, feeling as if it was my own fault that everything came out to be like this. If I had seen through him sooner, if only I became a clever girl and stood up to him the first time he ever laid his hand on me. I blamed myself because I couldn’t defend myself against him. I blamed myself for being so weak against him. He would crush me any second and he knew that. Ben knew that I was vulnerable. That I couldn’t do anything to stand up against him or even tell the police or someone who would help me. Ben knew too damn well that I was trapped. And he loved it. He enjoyed every second of it.

I was tossing and turning in my bed, tears streaming down my face, wetting my pillow. My body was sore everywhere and my head was pounding. The painkillers I took were not enough. Reaching out for a photo of my parents and I on my bedside counter, more sobs came from my mouth but I forced myself not to make too much noise.

It was a very beautiful picture. We were at a carnival and behind us was a ferris wheel. I was between my mom and dad, big smiles spotted on our faces. Mom's green eyes that matched mine were twinkling brightly from what I could tell was happiness. My dad's brown ones also shone brightly.

It was the most cherished picture of us. Ben could have anything he wanted from me, but I would rather die than let him put his filthy hands on this picture because it was my most beloved possession.

I glanced at the clock on the white wall.

00:35

I couldn't sleep. Not when I knew that I was under the same roof as him.

However on that lonely and sleepless night, I made a promise to myself. I made a promise to be strong, that I would do anything to stand up against him. I promised to do everything to stop his abuse without putting my friends in danger. I would make sure that nothing bad happened to them because of me.