𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

18; mother

There was never a quiet a minute in this house and adding Mabel and I to the mix just made it worse. There was constantly someone screaming or yelling or laughing, it was non stop. It was nearly 6:30pm and Dinner had been awesome but Zach never came, his voice still faint in the other room. My mind lingered with what was so important for this long of a phone call with his mum. I had missed his presence when eating but tried to pretend I was really enjoying it, I was it was just I was worried. Jonah had cocked his eyebrow ever now and again from across the table but I just sent back a half smile ignoring it in a way. I had a slight twang in my gut that it wasn't good or that he would have to leave and never come back or that he was in big trouble or-

"B! B! B! B! Oh my gosh I've been calling your name for like 5 minutes!" He falls into the open area of the couch besides me, his hair flopping in his eyes before he flashes a golden smile at me,

"Oh sorry, I was just thinking..."

"Think 'bout what?"

"To be honest I don't know" he screws his face up slightly at my comment before slapping my back gently.

"You confused? You sound like Zach."

"What do you mean Zach?" His mouth opens as he goes to talk but a little cough comes from the other side of the room. I turned my head slightly my eyes landing on him. It was Zach but his face was blank with no smile which wasn't his usual self. Jack tilted his head confused with him and I just stared, the others hadn't even noticed. He began to walk over towards us my heart pounding, maybe my thoughts had been right.... he hesitated before reaching out gesturing for my hand.

"Can we talk..?" His eyes pierced into mine and I nod softly exchanging a look with Jack before I push myself off the couch following Zach away. My palms were sweaty and I could feel myself pinch the skin of my forearm. My head was spinning a little and it was if I could hear bees in my ears. He opened the door leading to the music room, holding it open for me to go through first. I had only been in here a few times one of them listening to Zach play the guitar softly as Jonah sang. It had a musky smell reminding me of years ago and the air was warm. I sit down on the grey lounge chair as he sits down across from me his hands over his knees his eyes big and worried. He was hardly centimetres away from me and I could tell that my expression matched his pale face. We sat for a little bit not saying words scared of what the other would say but he soon cleared his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me..?" I felt my heart drop, oh dear what had I down, I couldn't even remember. It was a daily thing for me to do, make millions of mistakes.

"I uhhh. please elaborate..?" I whisper shakily my hands moving faintly. He reaches out and places his hands on mine holding them gently to stop the shaking. I looked down then back at his brown eyes.

"Ab, your mother..." My heart now stopped. The feeling of fainting and nausea was controlling my body. Don't cry Abigail, don't cry. I knew it was to late as I tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't and they were streaming down my face. I didn't want to face the truth that she was gone and I didn't want him to treat me like a lost duckling and show me sympathy I didn't need. It has been 8 years since it had happened and still I could hardly breathe when I thought about it. I was put in homeschooling because of this, I had lost so much of my life, I felt betrayed by my dad. I started to sob quietly my face leaning into my hands but he pulled me in delicately placing my face in the crock of his neck, his hands rubbing up and day my back the feeling lingering.

"Please don't cry." He whispered into my ear but I couldn't still, it was like a waterfall.

"I'm sorry I just can't, I miss her and I'm treated so differently because of her and I just want her back." He holds my neck but I was a goner. They kept rolling down, I had never talked about it with anyone ever before, Ma and Pa just tried to hide the fact it happened. The emotion feels like emptiness in you heart, a shear of nothingness that somehow takes over and threatens to kill you entirely. Its like this hole in your heart that is the shape of the one you lost and that makes you feel the need to wipe away any non-existent tears that you want to form but can't. It gives you this heavy feeling that's like the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders and there is nothing you can do to get out from under it.

"I understand I'm sorry, I was just a little hurt you didn't tell me..."

"... I've never talked about it to anyone not even Mabel..."

"Does she even know?"

"Yes she does know but Ma told her and she treated me weirdly for so long so please, please, please don't treat me like I'm a child." I was holding back more snobs gripping onto his back, his muscles surprisingly buldging from under his shirt. I had been waiting for him to leave like they all do but he didn't, he just held me closer his body heat radiating off him. I had never had this, the feeling of someone fully caring for me and it made my cheeks I was hoping my waterproof mascara wasn't trailing down my face with my tears as I slowly heaved, my chest thumping.

"Ab, I know you've been lonely but you aren't anymore okay. I'm here, the boys are here for you" he kisses my forehead slowly making my breathing stop completely. I was in love with this boy, I was completely smitten, I was head over heels and now he knew my darkest secret,

That my mother Taylor Wilson was murdered on the 21st of June, 2009.

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Slowly linking all of my story together xx

I actually nearly crave for a relationship like this oh my god feels????

I have just spent all day at my sisters ballet school helping her every half an hour to take dance photos and then in between writing so much. The past four chapters I've pre-wrote here as I have a busy as week and will be extremely exhausted but I wanted to publish chapters all week, pretty much one everyday till Saturday!!!!

Hope you guys have a good dayyy babbesss xxxx
Alluring Heart xx