Lunar Chronicles Fanfics

Chapter 1 of My Possible Book-

Hi guys!! I'm so so so sorry that I haven't written in a month or two. I've been really busy collecting ideas for my possible book... and I've had really bad writers block.
Anyway, so I published a first draft of this book months ago. Since then, I've changed it almost completely. I hope you enjoy this, too.
Basically, it's about a girl with an over active imagination. So she experiences physically her nightmares, dreams, and hallucinations.
Xx Evie

P.S. Please criticise it...

Dream 856:

There I was, drowning;
Spinning at the force of dusky waves. My bones had cracked by the cold, and fresh, salty cuts had bled every ounce of energy from my body. I couldn't see more than two centimetres in front of me. The water was thick, and sticky, like black treacle. It's dense pressure made my body crane.

The world was

f   a   l  l  i   n   g

on top of me.

The water was colder than anything I'd ever felt before, but my skin was on fire: molten and dripping like hot wax.
Seaweed slid up my legs, pulling me even further down. When I protested the plant's grip, it tightened, tugging at my skin like a Chinese burn. The seaweed had reached my neck.

Bear in mind that this all occurred ten seconds before I woke up. But the time was ticking wrong. Time is either too fast or too slow during hallucinations. At that excruciatingly prolonged moment, I knew I was going to die. I knew nothing else, in fact.
My life didn't flash before my eyes, only darkness.
No air.
No light.
No way to escape.
The Sun. I wanted to see the Sun again; let it kiss my skin as I blinked it away.

But, stars, I only had one thought: loophole. Find a loophole. Get out of here. Get the hell out of here. My hair floated in front of my face, siding with the seaweed and choking me.
I don't know what came over me next. It was as if something possessed me.

I stopped fighting the waters.
Let them flow.
I couldn't help it: I breathed in the water. It went up my nose and my ears popped.

Fire and ice and loneliness
f
        l
              o                        d me.
                     o            e
                           d

I felt myself drift towards death.
I let myself drift, it was the only way out.

Chapter 1-
Aftershock:

I wake up in the bath tub, wrapped up in seaweed, retching at air, freezing. I manage to wake Mum up; she's fallen asleep on the settee. She untangles me from the weeds; pulls my hair out of my face; helps me out the bath; and wraps me up in tin foil and blankets.
I crane over the toilet for half an hour, throwing up salty water, some  sea grass, and any food left in my body. As I stand up, I see that all the oceanic residue from my hallucination has completely disappeared. Almost... evaporated.

The mirror reveals a stranger. A hag, dwelling in dirt and bruises.
It takes another hour-long steaming bath for me to warm up. I pack on layers of pyjamas and jot the nightmare down in my Dream Diary. My writing's a mess, since my hands are still chattering from the ice.

Mum makes me toast, with half a tub of butter smoothed over the top. And we sit through the night. Huddled in a fluffy blanket, watching reality show repeats, hot chocolates in hands. We drift asleep, swimming in a fatigue induced blur.
But I'm glad she sat through it with me. The aftershock. I mean, I wouldn't expect any less. Over sixteen years, it's become a routine: stay alive together.
We stick everything through, hand in hand.
That's our thing.

Welcome to the Hunt household.
Mother and daughter.
Joanna and Kara.
No father, no questions.
We get in fine by ourselves.
We tell each other everything.
No secrets, no lies.

Miss. and Miss. Hunt.
If anything is real...
Mum.

fin.

Hope you enjoyed! Any feedback? Any questions? X