Broken // XiuChen

T W E N T Y - F O U R

(*starts singing Twenty Four by EXO* |-) lmao)

Grab your tissues it's about to get emo and emotional.

Suho's POV

"I'm disappointed in you", "how could you do this to Chen?", "Xiumin and Chen were deeply hurt because of you, specially Jongdae. Does this make you happy?", "what happened to the Suho I fell for?"

I lied awake almost the whole night after what happened today. These thoughts were always streaming through my mind, making me anxious. What kind of apology does the boys want me to do? Nothing I would say would change this situation. From now on they'd always look at me with either sadness, disappointment or anger. I didn't know what to do. It was right what Luhan said. I'd probably never say anything. I don't know how to handle situations like these. But since I caused this mess, I guess I have to find out how to.

Realisation coursed through my body and I could finally see what I've actually done.

My body began to shake with the sobs I held in. I looked over at Sehun lying on the bed beside me. His back was turned towards me, signalling he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I curled myself into a ball under the blanket and put my head between my knees.

I was an awful person. Everything they had said about was true. I was a disappointment. I didn't deserve the position as leader. I don't deserve anything in this world. I felt my heart began to break and my breath got hitched up in my throat, leaving me gasping for air.

Lay's words rang through my head like a hitch pitched beep. "What happened to the Suho I fell for?", "I don't regret things easily, but right now I regret falling for you."

My sobs became unbearable to bare and I couldn't breath. I quickly, but silently, got out of bed and put on my shoes. I went outside into the cold night air and finally let out my sobs. I ran away, far away, from the dorms while sobs and cries continued, escaping my mouth. I found a park after I had run for about 10 minutes. I looked around looking for a nice hide out where nobody would see nor hear me cry. There were some swings at the far back of the park and I went over and sat down. I cried my heart out; a few screams and shouts escaped as well.

What kind of person am I? I'm close to be called a monster. I've broken the group's trust in me, I've broken Lay's love for me and most of all, I've broken Chen's heart.

And now I have to break Johnny's heart. I can't be with him anymore, knowing what I've done. He reminds me of my mistakes.

I don't know for how long I stayed at this park. I must've fallen asleep 'cause when I opened my eyes I was still here and the sun had risen up.

The evening events from yesterday came back to me, hitting me like a brick and I began to cry once more. I wanted somebody to hug me and support me. I want to talk to the boys. I want to go back to them. Sounds stupid, since they don't even want anything to do with me anymore. 

I searched through my clothes to find my phone to look at the clock, but I couldn't find it. I realised I've forgotten it back at the dorms. Great.

As I continued lying on the grass beside the swing set, the thought of wanting to go back to the boys, became more distant.

They're better off without me anyway. I should just stay here and rot forever.
I began sobbing once more and hugged myself trying to find comfort, until sleep caught up with me again.

Sehun's POV

The sun came shining through the curtains the next morning signalling a new day had arrived. I groaned as the sunlight hit my face. I turned around in my bed and heaved a big breath.