Dragon Age Inquisition: The Legacy of Dorian Pavus

36: Confessions

Dorian

As much as he'd looked forward to returning to Skyhold, the winner of the bet he'd made with Nathaniel, he wasn't in the mood to make use of it. The business with the nightmares and the calculated coldness of the spell's design had him thinking of everything but sex.

The fact he wasn't even remotely interested in intimacy made him angry. That someone's malicious act had worked so well as to make him voluntarily put distance between himself and his amatus was hard to stomach.

He knew he shouldn't give in to what he was feeling, prove to himself and his enemy they had failed, but he couldn't. No matter how much he argued with himself, he couldn't find pleasure in the idea. Which was a thousand times worse than the fear he'd felt in his dreams.

After going to the tavern to calm their collective nerves, they'd met in the War Room with Morrigan to discuss whatever she might have learned. Which wasn't much. She'd cleared Dorian's former room of harmful magic, though it had taken her longer than expected. She had no success in tracing the origins of the magic there either.

As for the magic itself, she described it much the same way Dorian had. Old, powerful and from a time only read about in books. She was also not optimistic she would be able to learn much from Dorian's amulet and ring, but promised to do her best.

Which then brought up the question of Vivienne. Why hadn't she been there to help? Leliana answered by saying she'd sent her to Val Royeaux to check on something for her, but would not say what.

From there, everyone had some idea what to do next, but none could agree on a course of action. As for Solas, he was gone. No one knew where he was or when he might have left, though Leliana was certain he'd disappeared after they'd headed out to the Hissing Wastes. Nathaniel was livid on hearing this, but did a masterful job of keeping his thoughts to himself.

Cullen made sure to post more guards around every entrance in and out of Skyhold, while Leliana had already increased the amount of spies within the compound. Nathaniel ordered a full sweep of the grounds and buildings, both known and unknown with Morrigan leading the search. He wanted to know if there were any other traps hidden in Skyhold or if there might be other entrances they were unaware of.

All those gathered, aside from Dorian looked confused by this, until Nathaniel reminded them all that it had been Solas to tell them of Skyhold in the first place. By the end of the meeting, everyone was exhausting and in varying degrees of foul moods. The fact that Solas might actually be responsible for recent event had them all questioning their ability to sense danger.

Nathaniel took Dorian out of the War room then and after ordering food be sent to his room, led them to his private quarters, uncharacteristically distant. Gone was his easy smile and confident posture. He seemed weighed down by everything that had happened and let it show the moment he crossed the room to stand by the fireplace.

"Amatus." Dorian said.

He turned to look at him, a sadness in his eyes Dorian had never seen before and for once didn't know what to say. Nathaniel sighed, his shoulders sagging but said nothing, returning his gaze to the fire. Dorian crossed the room, slipping his arms around his waist to rest his chin on Nathaniel's shoulder.

"Talk to me Nathaniel." He said. "I know you're upset, but tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking I want Solas dead. I'm thinking I should never have let him join us. And I'm thinking I like it when you say my name."

"But you didn't let him join us." Dorian reminded him. "He was part of the Inquisition before you started leading it."

"Maybe. But I had my suspicions about him from the beginning. How could I have forgotten that?"

Dorian turned him so they were staring into each other's eyes. "Maybe because you had bigger problems to deal with? Like travelling through time with an evil mage from Tevinter? Recruiting apostates from Redcliff? Staring down a self-proclaimed god single-handed?"

Nathaniel frowned, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth."How can I berate myself when you're being so bloody logical? And you're not an evil mage from Tevinter."

"Well that's easy. You can't. And how do you know I'm not evil?"

Nathaniel smiled and pressed his lips to his. "I know because I love you Dorian. What would I do without you?"

"Oh I don't know. I'm sure you'd think of something, though less fashionably of course."

Nathaniel laughed and pressed himself to him, claiming his lips in a passionate kiss. "Mmm. I think you're wrong about that. Though you're right most other times, as usual."

Now it was Dorian's turn to frown. "As usual?"

"Yes, you bloody mage as usual. Do you not know how much I depend on you? For advice and discussion and reassurance?"

"Well, I'm aware you seem quite interested in my opinions, but you're making it sound as though you couldn't do anything without me. Now I'll be the first to tell you how unique and talented I am. I am, of course, me. But I think you may be exaggerating my finer qualities."

Nathaniel shook his head, his smile vanishing. "No Dorian, I'm really not. You give me the strength to keep going. You help me just by being at my side. I thank the Maker every day for bringing me to you."

"I... don't know what to say." He stammered. The man was certainly doing his best to humble him, if that was his goal. But he knew it wasn't. Even if he still had doubts, he could hear the sincerity in Nathaniel's voice, leaving him no choice but to believe him.

"I told you before Dorian. I will do whatever it takes to chase that doubt from your heart. I meant it."

"I believe you amatus." He whispered.

"Now you have to answer a question for me."

"Anything."

"You used my real name. Why have you never said it before?"

Dorian frowned. "I wanted to ask your permission. I was uncertain how it might be viewed by others if I were to address you so informally."

"But you've not used it when we're alone either."

"I keep forgetting to ask if it's okay with you." He said, not meeting Nathaniel's eyes. "There's always something else to discuss and whenever I see you it's about pleasing you, seeing you smile. I forget, and then you're walking away and I remember I forgot to ask again."

Nathaniel closed the distance between us, put his hands to my cheeks and pressed his lips to mine in an urgent kiss. I sighed, my body relaxing as Nathaniel took me in his arms, my lips parting as I yielded to him. I leaned into his embrace, drowning in the pleasure of him pressed against me.

"My apologies Inquisitor. I didn't mean to intrude." Said a female voice at my back, startling us both.

Nathaniel pulled away and turned to greet the intruder. Our food had arrived. Waving off her apology, he thanked her for bringing our meal and waited while she set about arranging the plates and food tray on a small table.

I shared a wry smile with Nathaniel and took a seat, suddenly ravenous. We ate in companionable silence even as the space between us grew heavy with heat and desire. We'd barely started when one of Leliana's agents appeared on the stairs.

"Pardon me, Your Worship." He said. "But the Lady Nightingale wanted this delivered straight away."

Dorian watched as Nathaniel read the missive, his lovers' face changing from one of curiosity to confusion.

"Maker's breath." He swore, crumpling the note and tossing it into the fireplace. "Blackwall's disappeared. Gone running off to Val Royeaux."

"Did it say why?"

Nathaniel scowled. "No it bloody doesn't. I'm sure Leliana knows something, she just didn't share it with me."

"Sound like something our dear Nightingale would do. When do we leave?"

"Now, apparently."

"Lead the way then amatus. I'm curious to find out what this is about."