Dragon Age Inquisition: The Legacy of Dorian Pavus

14: The Grey Wardens

Nathaniel

Back in Skyhold, everyone was talking about my decision to recruit the Wardens. So many disapproved that I retreated to my quarters for some peace and quiet and to escape their accusatory looks. I wasn't certain I had done the right thing as it was.

Yes, the Grey Wardens had crossed the line, but they'd also been used and manipulated by Corypheus. They were also the only force in all of Thedas who could end a Blight. The world couldn't afford to lose that knowledge, which would have happened if I'd banished them.

I fell to my bed in a fit of mental and emotional exhaustion. With the return of my memory, I was inundated with feelings of inadequacy. So many had believed my survival to be some form of Divine Will. Yet I now knew it had merely been dumb luck or bad luck, depending on how you looked at it.

When I'd caught the orb Justinia had knocked out of Corypheus' hand, I had inadvertently unleashed an enormous burst of magical power. Only my contact with the orb had saved me from the resulting explosion. If I hadn't touched it, I would have died along with everyone else or maybe no one would have died if I hadn't touched it. Maybe by picking up the orb, I had caused the explosion. Maker's breath, but it was making my head hurt.

To suspect my survival was based on bad timing was one thing, to know with certainty was another. I thought of everything that had happened since that moment, and still couldn't accept how much my life had changed by that one event.

I had followers, admirers and advisors. People looked to me for guidance and advice as though I somehow had all the answers. Me, a nobody noble from a backwater in Ostwick. The level of responsibility I'd stepped into was a burden which was beginning to wear on me. The realization that if I failed, the entire world would cease to exist was too much.

I sat up abruptly, my breath coming in panicked gasps. I had to get out of this room lest I succumb to the building wave of fear growing within me. I wanted Dorian to comfort me, yet I had sensed his tension on our return to Skyhold. I wasn't sure he was in a position to reassure me, so I headed to Josephine's office instead.

"Your Worship." She gushed. "I am so relieved to see you safely returned to us. When I heard what happened at Adamant I was very worried for you. How are you feeling Inquisitor?"

"Better now." I assured her. "Hopefully in the future, I can avoid any more accidental trips to the Fade."

"That is my hope as well and I am glad you are all right." She said, her smile warm and genuine. "Now, was there anything else I can do for you?"

"No. I just wanted to talk."

"Very well. I shall speak with you later."

After Josie, I stopped by Varric's table. He hadn't said much after Hawke had parted ways with us at Adamant. She was off to Weishaupt to inform the Wardens there of what had happened at Adamant Fortress.

"Varric." I said. "How are you doing?"

"Never thought I'd be visiting the Fade again in this lifetime. Maker's breath, I hope it never happens again."

"At least Hawke made it out."

"Yep. Closest thing to a miracle there. Anyway, she asked me to write to everyone back home - tell them where she's headed. Fenris needs to know. Maker, I'm glad I won't be doing this in person."

As Varric wandered off in search of ink and paper, I hesitated. The pull to check on Dorian was strong, but he had been so quiet after Adamant I wasn't sure what to expect from him. Kicking myself for my cowardice, I left the castle and went in search of Cassandra.