#7 You lose someone in your squad

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She only heard what has happened from the rumors around the Military Police. The titans attacked and the Survey Corps had to pay a high price to fight them back. Annie needs to know you are still alive.

"[Y/N]?!", she looks through the camp, where the injured soldiers get medical help. You have to be somewhere here. "[Y/N] is over there", one of your comrades points into the right direction. And really, you are sitting alone in a dark corner, holding something in your hand.

Relief washes over Annie as she makes her way towards you. She calls your name one, two, three times, but you don't respond at all, like you are in kind of trance. Softly the female soldier puts her hand on your shoulder to snap you out of your probably even darker thoughts.

"He was right in front of me. Just a few inches. I could have been faster. He would be still alive", you speak your first words. To emphasize your statement you open your hand. The wings of freedom soaked in blood. You couldn't save your friend, but got his emblem for his family. At least one piece of him made it back home then.

Annie's blue eyes soften immediately, when she sees the lonely tears that escape your own ones. She never saw you crying before. It must have been hell for you to live through this day. "You did your best, [Y/N], I know that. He knows that. It is not your fault", Annie sits down right next to you.

Her hand rubs circles onto your back to comfort you. "Apparently not. My best couldn't save him", you blame yourself for his death. Annie realizes it could have been the other way around. You could have died instead of your comrade. An ice cold fist clenches around her heart.

She knows words won't help you now so she just keeps rubbing your back. There is nothing she could do to ease your pain, but you will not go through it alone. Never.


Armin doesn't help himself but stare at your crying form. During the attack on Trost you lose more than just one comrade from your quad. The shy blonde soldier feels frozen in his place not knowing what to do. Should he let comfort you with some encouraging words or let your tears do their work. He just doesn't know.

It just breaks his heart to see you crying that hard in front of the fire. Without thinking Armin makes his way towards you. He doesn't say a single word as he wraps his arms around you. Glad to have someone to hold onto, you bury your face in his shirt.

"I could have saved one of them, but I was scared. I couldn't move an inch. I couldn't do anything just watch how they slaughtered. It is not fair, that I am still breathing, while they are not. I don't deserve it at all", you mumble between two deep breaths as the tears keep falling and wet Armin's shirt.

"No, you deserve to be alive. I would be devastated, if I lose you. I am sure, they felt the same panic, which is completely normal. I also couldn't move the first time I saw a titan. You are just a human being. Don't blame yourself. You did your best", he whispers into your ear feeling how the blame weights you down. Armin knows exactly how you feel and still he can't do anything to ease your pain a little bit.

"But I feel so guilty", that's everything you can get out before you almost choke on your tears. "I know, I know and I am sorry you have to go through that. But you are not alone, [Y/N]", Armin can feel how his eyes start to water. You are such in mental pain, it also hurts him. Softly he strokes your head. Words fail him.

But actually everything is said so he only holds you in his arms.


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