11: Magister Halward

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"It has always been like this." He murmured, again addressing me making my anger rise.

"Dorian has a right to be angry considering you lied to get him here." I retorted.

"That's not all he's done." Dorian added. "But maybe you should."

"Dorian." His father protested. "There's no need for..."

"I prefer the company of men." Dorian said.

"That's what this is about?" I asked, incredulous. "Who you sleep with?"

"Not just that." He snarled, his voice laden with hurt and anger. "Tevinter prides itself on the perfect mage, the perfect body, the perfect leader. It means every perceived flaw, every aberration is deviant and shameful. It must be hidden."

He took a step towards his father. "Blood magic is the resort of a weak mind. He taught me that. Yet what was the first thing you did when I wouldn't do as you asked?"

He moved away and the pain in his voice broke my heart. "You... tried to change me."

"I only wanted what was best for you." His father protested, yet even to me, his words rang hollow.

"You wanted the best for you! For your fucking legacy!" Dorian cried. "Anything for that!"

Turning, he stepped away from his father, leaning his hands on a table to collect himself and I moved to join him.

"Dorian." I said, hating that I had to say anything. "Don't leave it like this. You'll never forgive yourself."

Meeting my eyes, he turned back to his father. "Why father? Why are you here?"

"If I'd know I would drive you to the Inquisition..."

"You didn't!" He cried, almost in tears. "I joined the Inquisition because it's the right thing to do. Once, I had a father who would have known that." Turning, he headed for the door.

Rooted to the spot, I could only watch, my heart breaking on Dorian's behalf.

"Once, I had a son who trusted me. A trust I betrayed. I only wanted to talk to him again, hear his voice. Beg him to forgive me."

Dorian froze and turned to look at me. I couldn't speak, so I smiled and left him alone to talk to his father.

----xxx----

Back in Skyhold, Dorian made straight for the library. He hadn't spoken on our return trip and I thought it best to give him some space before talking to him.

I checked in with Josephine, Cullen, Cassandra and Leliana but there were no updates on our plans to go to Adamant Fortress. Leliana's scouts had yet to report in and Cullen was still waiting on news regarding the delivery of a trebuchet. Accepting the delay, I told them I would head out to the Emerald Graves while we waited.

After changing my clothes, I headed for the library and Dorian. He was staring out the small window of his favourite alcove when I arrived. On hearing me approach, he began to speak.

"He says we're too much alike, too much pride. Once, I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now, I'm not certain."

"Are you all right?"

"No. Not really."

"What happened Dorian?"

"I refused to play the part he wanted. I was to be married and pretend I was happy. Selfish, I suppose, to not want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. Living a lie, it festers inside you, like poison. You have to fight for what's in your heart. Then I found out he was planning to use blood magic to make me more compliant, change me."

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