From Stranger To Everything

Part 19 : Her Love Was All She Knows

Ellie POV

"Who is that?" I whispered as Flynn phone vibrated, because it was in her pocket and she was sitting next to me in our first period together.

"Err.. Kaily" Flynn muttered impassively after she took a look at her phone.

My heart rate instantly picked up, but I kept my cool. Stay calm Ellie. I averted my eyes from her and fixed them on the whiteboard, but my mind was reeling. In the corner of my I saw Flynn type away on her phone and I sighed. A big one. Suddenly I was finding it hard to breathe properly and I closed my eyes, wishing the dull ache to go away. We both been on each other throat at this, or it's just on my side.

I was afraid going to be a psycho. Rational and my stupid possessive heart didn't mix well at all. She flirted, I was angry, not the kind that goes batshit crazy, I just ignore her altogether. Sometime it does occur to me that I was not worth for her attention anymore. It was just hard to take any of this, maybe I was too possessive but can you blame me? Who want their girlfriend to go around and dole out her kindness to any pretty girl come her way?

Not me. I was downright freaking jealous. We were on and off like a freaking light switch, and lately I've been off to an isolate island. At night she called, but after a little into the conversation, someone called or Kaily called, and I was too upset to say anything. Flynn was trying to explain in desperation that there's nothing going on between them, and I tried my best to sound indifferent, like it didn't affect me. Pictured myself to be an understanding girl, that I was fine. But deep down, it destroyed my sleeping pattern, I couldn't sleep without Flynn there, but she was with another girl. She obviously favored the other girl company, then so be it. I wasn't worth it anyway.

The thought alone brought lump to my throat causing me to swallow and squashed it down.

You are in class Ellie, stop it right now.

Lately, I've been lonely. Lately, I craved her more. I long for the feeling of her arms wrapped tightly around me. I ached for her to shower me with her kissed, her sweet nothing. I long for the feeling whenever she looked at me, and her eyes soften unconsciously. I was tired, physically and emotionally.

Class dragged around like eternity, I've got a feeling that Flynn sneaked a glanced at me once in a while, but I didn't acknowledge it. Bell rung indicated the class was over and I collect my things in silent without looking at her. If I look at her right now, I might snap. That's was the last thing I wanted.

"Ellie" her voice trailed off and she grabbed my hand, halting me from dropping my books. Until then I realized it was shaking.

"What?" I muttered, my face void of any emotion as I stared at her. Her expression mirrored mine and suddenly I've got a feeling that I don't know who was she anymore.

"Don't be like this" I dragged my hand away slowly and she let me, my heart constrict painfully in my chest and my throat dried.

"People are looking..." and I stepped sideway from her, made a beeline toward my next class. After all I can't avoid her face to face because we had most of the class together, and I knew she was walking close behind.

We both settled in and I closed my eyes, and dropped my head on the table. This cold war between us sucked out most of my life force. I felt her beside me, but not closed like usual and I will myself not to crumble.

"Get up Ellie" Flynn's hissed lowly when the teacher came, her face was like a brick wall but I knew better to see the contain fury behind those calm mask.

The polite conversation was thrown between the two of us, and I ignored the curious stared from Fiona and Lydia. Flynn was ice cold, detached and full of fury. It lashed out on me and for a moment I think I was being a bitch, but she didn't even care about my feelings anymore, who am I to say anything?