Fighting Demons

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Aight it's only a little bit mature, I'm just kinda slapping that on there just in case. If you don't want to just in case then don't, don't want to start any trouble. Lol enjoy!

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I don't know what love is. It's simple as that. I'm supposed to be a like robot, some inhuman thing that's incapable of feeling. That's what they called me. Freak. Monster. And so I became just that.

Sure, I'd felt lust. Irene Adler made sure of that. But this was different. I'd never felt this before, this speeding of my heart when I looked at her. It would thump rapidly, as if it was trying to break a rib. My pulse would quicken, my breath would become tight in my chest.

There's only one problem.

I'm not supposed to love.

"Sherlock? Sherlock!"

I'm snapped out of my thoughts, sucked from the Mind Palace. Molly stares at me with her arms crossed over her chest, an eyebrow raised expectantly. I blink.

"Sorry, what?"

Molly groans, rolling her eyes, "you never listen. When you were lost in your little daydreams I said that I'm supposed to be scolding you for stealing all those left ears!"

I blink again, "so scold me."

Molly looks taken aback for a moment but sighs. She takes a step closer and it happens. My breath catches in my throat. I inwardly curse myself for being so careless, for some reason Molly Hooper is the one person I have to watch myself around.

She notices. Shit. Molly raises an eyebrow and eyes me suspiciously. I clear my throat and take a small step back, trying very hard not to break away from her suspicious gaze.

"What?" I mutter. Molly looks me up and down once more before shrugging and again stepping closer. I watch myself this time.

"Nothing," she says slowly. Damn it, she's good, "so, Sherlock Holmes, you are now grounded from body parts until next week."

I let out a dry laugh and Molly scrunches her nose. "I'm being serious, Sherlock!"

I roll my eyes, nodding with false agreement, "yes. Of course. Very serious."

Molly huffs, anger flashing through her eyes. Her eyes. They're such a dark brown, it almost shocks me. God, I could get lost in those eyes...

"I'm expanding your suspension for two weeks!" Molly cries, huffing indignantly. This time I actually laugh. Molly just gets angrier. I can feel my control starting to slip, so I just laugh harder. I don't know why. Hurting her hurts me too, but I can't stop myself.

Molly steps in closer and my laughing stops abruptly. Surprise flashes across her face, then she just looks pleased she caught me by surprise. After the smugness comes what I've dreaded. Suspicion. Let's just hope that never turns to realization.

"You need to take me more seriously, Sherlock!" Molly takes a step back and I reluctantly step in closer. Wow she's really pissed, "your snarky attitude never gets you anywhere but in trouble! But you hardly even care do you? You just, don't, care!" Molly jabs my chest, the control begins to slip.

"Stop," I don't even realize that I've said it. I catch her hand and meet her eyes directly. Molly looks taken aback, then suspicious. My stomach ties in knots and I let her hand go, stuffing my hands in my pockets. I'm slipping. I'm slipping. I'm sl-

"Why?" Molly asks. That's when I see it flash across her face. Realization. It's only there for a moment but I can feel my legs begin to feel like lead.

Molly steps closer to me. God, she's so close. I can feel her breath on my skin, it's warmth trying to draw me closer. Her eyes roam around my face and as much as I try to look at the floor my gaze can't help but stray to her lips.

She tilts her chin up, her lips parting ever so slightly. I can't do this. "Why?" She whispers again. My breath hitches in my throat and I feel the control slip from my grasp.

"Stop," I manage to choke out. My heart is thumping, I feel like it's going to burst out of my chest. I can feel my fingertips twitching, like they're trying to grasp at the control that I know of slowly slipping away from me. She's going to make me lose it.

Molly leans in and I shudder slightly, just the slightest twitch and our lips will meet. It then occurs to me that she knows exactly what she's doing.

"Stop," my voice is now a whisper, "you- I can't-"

"Can't. What?" Molly's tone matches mine. She's pushing this, but what she doesn't know is she's pushing the control out of me. Molly lets out a shaky breath, as if she finally realizes what she's doing, but it's too late.

I'm gone.

My hands reach up, slipping to the back of her neck and pulling her closer. Molly lets out a sharp breath as I stumble forward, pressing her against the wall. I know that my hold has snapped and I hardly even try to stop it. I lean down to kiss her but hesitate, my lips lingering over hers.

"I can't go back," I whisper, my breath tight in my chest. She watches me curiously, her eyes straying around my face. Every sense in my body needs her, begs for her, but I somehow manage to control myself. It won't last for long.

"Okay," she says. For some reason this angers me, that she's willing to give herself up so easily.

"You don't understand. You don't want me. I have demons that I can't fight. Damnit, you have no idea how hard it is for me to control myself right now."

"Then let go." Molly's eyes are defiant and her mouth is turned up in the smallest smirk. She's testing me, pushing me over the edge.

Molly's mouth comes up and meets with mine. I freeze, using the last of willpower to try and hold back, but I can't. I kiss her back, all sense has drained out of me. The only thing on my mind is Molly. My hands slip around her waist and she shivers slightly. Part of me wonders if I should try and regain control, but the truth propels me.

I can't stop now.

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