Sherlolly Oneshots

Texts (QotMP)

These are texts between Sherlock and Sawyer, who's from my fanficiton Queen of the Mind Palace.  The ones initialed are Sherlock's with maybe two exceptions the others are Sawyer's.  So if you haven't read it you might want to skip this one or something.  If you're reading it anyway like a little stinker Sawyer is sort of Sherlock's daughterly figure.  Whaaat?  I'm not promoting... no clue what you're talking about...  Anywhere here ya go:

Where do you keep the petroleum?

Why do you think I'd have petroleum?
SH

Nevermind, found it.  Now where do you keep the lighters?

Alright I'm coming home.
SH

~~~

Why the hell is Gael blue?
SH

I don't know.

Sawyer.  He looks like a smurf.  What did you do to him?
SH

Somebody kept taking my gummy bears.  Somebody had to pay.

Sawyer!
SH

~~~

Why do you keep hiding my revolver?
SH

I don't know, why do you feel the excessive need to initial every text you send?  I have your caller ID in my phone.  It's not like everytime you send a text it erases your name from my phone.  I know who I'm texting.  Jeez.

And here you are getting on me about excessiveness.
SH

~~~

Found Sherlock's comb, bow rosin, and a big thing of gun powder.  All I need are some fireworks and we're all set to put our plan into action. 

?
SH

Oh sorry, wrong number.

That's ok.
SH

Wait what?
SH

~~~

Did I just see you crab-walking across the kitchen?
SH

Shhhhh.

~~~

Sawyer where are you we're trying to catch a murderer here.
SH

Sawyer what's that beeping?
SH

SAWYER I SWEAR DO NOT PRESS THAT BUTTON-
SH

Ekansjfjrnfkendn

Smdkdnekfjnfkvndns

That was extremely unnecessary.
SH

DID YOU HEAR THAT BOOM HAHA THAT WAS AWESOME!

Sawyer...
SH

~~~

Tell George to arrest the one with the freckle under his left eye.
SH

George?
Sawyer

What's-his-face.  Lestrade.  Did you do it?
SH

Yep.
Sawyer

Stop that.
SH

Stop what?
Sawyer

THAT
SH

I have no clue what you're talking about.
Sawyer

Are you mocking me?
SH

I don't know, am I?
Sawyer

Do you WANT to go hungry tonight?
SH

Try me...
Sawyer

~~~

Sherlock look at what I learned to do.

What?
SH

....................../'¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./'¯/'...'/'¯¯'·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...'...'.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·'
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

That's just vile.
SH

~~~

Sherlock?

What?
SH

I love you.

Weirdo.
SH

I love you too, Sawyer.
SH