In Darkness and In Light

Second step on the board

Stubborn,- dogged, obstinate, persistent imply fixity of purpose or condition and resistance to change.

That was me. I was too stubborn to let all this unravel, to stubborn to believe this had something to do with Zak and too stubborn to leave him alone...

I searched the house and eventually ended up in the garage where he had discarded his top in favour of beating the shit out of his punch bag with no gloves on. His blows were almost deafening and the bag began to look a little sorry for itself under his constant attack. Seeing his knuckles turning red, I cautiously stepped into the garage.

His head snapped to the sound of my feet and he turned back hitting at it even harder.

"Za-"

"I told you to stay away, I'm angry and I don't want to lash out. In any way." He answered with a grunt as he hit the bag.

My eyes couldn't stop looking at his hands "Then stop hitting the bag."

He continued until I moved quick enough to block his next blow to the bag. His fist only stopping an inch from my face.

"Put the gloves on... Please for me?"

He ground his teeth together before stepping away from the bag. I jumped as he slammed his fist into the garage door.

"Zak please.. I can explain."

"Really?! You can explain how someone fucked with you and I was sat there like a complete idiot?! I should have walked in there and took his head off the moment I saw him! I should have known and now you, me? We're targets for what?! Money! I fucking hate this life!" He shouted making my brows pinch together.

"Don't say that.."

"I do! Great that I have money, yeah brilliant, I can afford that! And that! And that!" He gestured to his cars and house.

"Money causes problems Robyn! It always has! Money is the downfall of it all! We can't hold hands?! We can't kiss in public?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Hun you have had this for years."

"Well I'm sick of it now! I'm done with the badgering! I want to be left alone! I want to do my job without all this glorified shit after!"

I watched him pace until he sank to the floor hiding his face in his hands panting.

"What's scaring you really?" I asked.

I couldn't believe that he now hated the fame he got, Zak thrived off it. He always has.

"I don't want to lose you over all this.." He admitted making my heart ache.

I went over and knelt down in front of him placing my hand on his knee. "Why would you think I'm going anywhere?"

"Because it's you. You've been raised a fighter, now it's stopped but in here." He tapped his finger against his head. "In here you're still fighting. You are and when you can't. You run. What kind of partner am I? I can't protect you, I can't touch you or hold you outside this house or a fucking hotel room."

"We're not being followed.... At least I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I would have noticed that." I replied.

"And I'm not willing to take that chance. It's a constant fight, I just want us to have a quiet life. I just want to be left alone...."

My heart went to him, it really did because I couldn't imagine not being able to have some source of freedom.

"Does that include me?" I whispered.

His hand clamped down on mine and with a tug, I was pulled between his knees and into his chest.

His lips touched my head repeatedly as I closed my eyes.

"What did he mean? About his friend?"

I tensed up before realising Zak needed to know this part too if he was ever to trust me.

"Justin had friends over.. I went to bed. But because I knew he would get drunk and probably spew up. I slept in the spare room. That night his friend stayed over and climbed into bed with me. I was asleep. I didn't have a clue. I did when he was pulling me out of bed by my hair..."

Zak's arms tightened and a growl vibrated his chest.

"Let it go." I whispered.

"What did he do?" Zak asked.

"Dragged me into the bedroom and just yelled."

"I meant earlier when I came back."

I squirmed enough to sit back, pulling up my sleeve I had finger marks on my arm from Justin's hands earlier.

Zak's hand took my arm assessing them before his eyes looked at me. "He's making it hard for me to control myself. I wanna hurt him. God I want to hurt him so bad." He growled rubbing his thumb over the marks.

"But then he's got what he wants. You away from me, because he will run to the police. He'll have your name ruined."

"It would be worth every second to beat the living shit out of him."

"Zak." I frowned.

"I'm trying.." He answered before pushing the heels of his palm into his eyes.

We sat in the garage talking through everything until Zak was calm and I was in his arms. I pecked his cheek before smelling his cologne and nuzzling into him.

"I'm so proud of you.. Talking."

He grumbled a response as he rocked us back and forth slowly.  My tummy rumbled making me hold it, Zak stilled hearing it.

"Have you eaten today?"

I shook my head "Lunch remember."

"I'll make us something, I just need to stay here today. Is that okay?"

I nodded "It's better. We can both relax then."

We got up and headed through the house to the kitchen when the doorbell went.

Rolling my eyes, I headed to the front door, momentarily stopping at a large figure.

"I got it.. Go." Zak whispered gently pushing me into the bedroom.

He opened the door and from the conversation, it was only a delivery. Relieved I stepped out and smiled "What have you brought now?" I giggled seeing the small box.

"Not me. It's you."

I frowned and then realised I'd brought some stuff late last night.

"Oh. 24 hours delivery really meant that huh?" I took the box and carried it through the house into the kitchen where Zak went back to making us lunch. As he cooked up some chicken breasts, I opened the box and frowned seeing the styrofoam chips.

I dug around until I touched an object, pulling it out I found a smaller box. Looking at Zak's back I grinned, after his stunt on thanksgiving, I'd found a lovely little website. Our sex life was booming so I thought we could add a spin on it.

Scratching at the tape, I peeled it off and opened the box...

Everything faded around me, the house, the sizzling, Zak's energy. Everything was numb.

My hands shook as I lifted up a small stack of 6x4 photos..

All of me.

My breathing began to increase as I pushed one photo off another, all of me, all discreetly took of me whilst I was unaware. A photo appeared of me in the garden, in the bikini I had wore when Zak gave me my first swimming lesson. I had a photo of when I was laying on the sun lounger, my hands under my head asleep. A photo of Zak rubbing my back and playing with the bottoms. The whole scene was in front of me, in photos.

My breath caught completely as a photo came into view, a photo that made my stomach twist painfully. Someone has us... They had me, naked full frontal in the bedroom, they had Zak, our intimate moments together...

Yesterday was just the first move on this game, now this is their next move... They wanted money.

I looked up at him as he turned speaking but I couldn't reply, my voice, my air, everything was gone.

Then everything went black.