In Darkness and In Light

A sea of wonders

My thumb hovered over the app, a thousand thoughts running in my mind as I whether I should even respond to the slowly building notifications.

I guess seeing Zak with his mom rubbed salt in my wounds of all the times I've needed my mom or my dad or simply both but I never had the opportunity. Now I was being thrown a life line here, maybe this was my chance to feel what a family really was?

Zak's large hand brushed my hair back as he passed through the lounge as he went into the kitchen. He came back sweaty and out of breath having been running on the treadmill and lifting in his home gym. He was apparently working off the comfort food Nancy had fed him.

She has also prepared meals and frozen then down for me to reheat... now if that wasn't a punch in the gut. I should have been grateful, but a part of me wanted to shout at them both angrily and another wanted to cry. I guess tiredness played a big part in it all.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Zak huffed sitting down.

I just simply looked at him, not really knowing what to say before I decided to answer.

"Can I just have a cuddle?" I asked making his eyebrows lift.

"Y-yeah of course. I'm sweaty though." He warned as he came over and gave me a large hug.

I took a shaky breath gripping onto his top, sweaty or not, he still smelt amazing with the remnants of his cologne.

"Hey..." he whispered rubbing my back.

"What's wrong? Is it your hand?" He asked pulling back and taking my wrist carefully.

I shook my head "You love me don't you? I mean--"

"I don't love you." He answered causing the wind to knock out from my lungs as I stared at him.

I had lost the ability to breathe as my eyes watered.

"I'm in love with you. In love, it's continual, I haven't stopped." He smiled.

My lungs kicked back in as I let out a breath causing a tear to fall down my cheek.

"Hey, come on. Baby what's wrong?" He asked wiping it away.

"I feel so useless."

"Sweetie you're going to be out of action until your hand is better. I can take care of everything, you just gotta take care of yourself yeah? I'll be with you."

"It wouldn't have happened if I wasn't being stupid." I mumbled.

"Enough.. You had the tantrum and self pity party in the bedroom earlier. Don't think I didn't hear you. So you cremated bacon and charcoaled toast? Big deal. So you aren't some wizard in the kitchen, I can teach you. Me and you together the awesome atoms." He grinned.

"Awesome atoms..." I repeated.

"Sounded good in my mind." He admitted causing a small smile on my face. "Look, don't get upset okay. If it bothers you that much, I'll pay for cooking classes. Or we can go together? It's up to you, but stop beating yourself up over something you can't help. Besides I found it adorable that you didn't know where the light was yesterday."

"I'm in my--"

"Enough." He warned making me sit back grumbling. "Now we're gonna get a shower and we are gonna get an early night."