In Darkness and In Light

His first true love

STUPID SON OF A BITCH!

Picking up the basketball I threw it at Zak's wall as hard as I could before grabbing another ball, and another and another taking my frustrations out on them.

Shaking my hands out I paced in circles trying to unwind my mind from the tight coil Spring. I wanted to snap, to come undone and cause havoc but I couldn't.. I couldn't do this anymore.

Standing against the wall, I slid down it and glared all around me waiting for one of them to poke their heads up. But when nobody appeared I was up pacing again before grabbing another basket ball and launching it at the wall hard.

Why did he stand there and allow Aaron to snap at him like that?!

Was he embarrassed of what has happened? Did he just want to forget?!

I couldn't! I couldn't because here I was still dealing with the aftermath. Here I am still trying to work out where it went so wrong!

I eventually gave up throwing the balls and sat down breathing heavily when Gracie came over pushing herself between my legs and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Oh Gracie." I whispered as tears brewed. "What did I do wrong?"

Of course she didn't have answers, but she allowed me to cry into her fur quietly and pet her until I could control myself. I held her and fussed over her until I felt better.

For most people Gracie was a dog, a pet but for me she was more than that. So much more.. She'd became a beacon of safety, a secret crying pal, a distraction and my coping mechanism.

"I still love you Gray." I mumbled.

She lapped my face before toddling off and bringing me back a tennis ball.

"You want me to throw theses instead huh?" I asked causing her tail to wag.

I tossed the tennis ball  across the basketball court for her a few times before wiping my face and getting up. As she came back happily I called her on with me and headed in with intentions of taking her out and away from the bad atmosphere.

Finding my phone I pushed it into my pocket and headed for the door when a freshly showered Zak stepped out of his room.

"Where are you going? Robyn you can't leave." He said following me.

Ignoring him I grabbed the door handle when I was pulled back "You can't leave me too. Look at me, look, look." He urged trying to hold my face with his hands.

His touching became too much and I eventually snapped at him. "No don't touch me!"

Taken back he dropped his hands looking at me. "Why won't you let me touch you?" He asked looking genuinely hurt.

"Cause I can't deal with it right now? I'm angry Zak and you touch me and it fades!"

"Isn't that a good thing?" He frowned.

"No, no because I'm mad with him, I'm mad with you too!"

"Me? What have I done?" He asked reaching for me again when I pulled my hands away.

"Why didn't you tell him?! Why did you stand there and let him talk to you like that?!"

"It's easier." He grumbled.

"How?"

"It just is! No just drop it."

"Are you embarrassed of what happened? Embarrassed that you even got me pregnant?"