The boy next door || Justin Blake

Chapter 38: suicidual

Raegans pov:

I run to the car and start it, I wait for my dad to come out with Olivia. He puts her in the car seat as quick as possible and gets in the drivers seat.

Dad: "Rae, tell me what's going on"
Raegan: "DAD I NEED YOU TO DRIVE!!"

My dad started driving without saying a word.

I smash my head against the window;

Raegan: "I'm so stupid"

I feel like ever since Justin met me his life has been miserable. Like it use to be kinda bad before with all the bullying, but now that I'm in it it's miserable. I start crying so hard I needed my inhaler to help me steady my breathing. We arrive at the emergency entrance at the hospital, just as I went to go inside an ambulance pulled up and a bunch of doctors came rushing out to help.

Doctor: "what's the situation?"
Paramedic: "16 year old boy, passed out . He woke up in the ambulance but he had a panic attack and stopped breathing"

I didn't know what was going on until I saw Danny come out of the back of the ambulance. He looked at me and ran straight at me. He wrapped his arms around me and started crying harder than he already was. I rub his back crying as well. The doctors started heading into the hospital with Justin. Danny and I follow them as I ask them if they know he's gonna be okay.

Raegan: "excuse me!"
*no reply*
Raegan: "EXCUSE ME!"
Doctor: "WHAT!!"
Raegan: "is he gonna be okay!"
Doctor: "we don't know yet"

They walked into a operating room, security guards help me back as I tried to fight them to let go of me;

Raegan: "STOP MY BOYFRIEND NEEDS ME!"
Security: "sir you can't go in there"
Raegan: "HES MY BOYFRIEND"
Security: "sir if you don't calm down we're gonna have to ask you to leave"

Danny came up behind me and told me everything was gonna be okay. I hug him and tell him that I couldn't lose Justin ever. He was the only thing that was literally keeping me breathing from this time on.

I look down at my hands and see that the are all wet from wiping my tears. My dad came rushing into the hospital really confused until he saw Danny.  He gave me this look, a look that he's given me before. He put Olivia down on the chair beside him and opened his arms for me to get a hug. I run over to him and hug him so much that I never wanted to let go. My dads and Justin's arms were the only places that I could feel safe anymore;

Raegan: "I wanna die"
Dad: "what, why would you say that"
Raegan: "because this is all my fault"
Dad: "woah, Rae nothing is your fault, you didn't do anything"
Raegan: "I do everything. I should just kill myself" I fell to the ground and curled up into a tiny ball crying. My dad started tearing up as nurses gathered around me...

Authors note- hey guys this was just a short update before I went to bed. Have a good sleep 🌹 -m