>be me
>be 18
>working my shift at taco bell
>i give the customer their doritos locos tacos and welcome the next customer
>they ask for the three signature taco meal
>i tell him we are out of cheese so he will have to order something else
>he asks if can he have it without cheese
>i say im sorry but it is not allowed
>he says thats ridiculous and i apologize but its the rules
>he says the rules dont make sense
>id like to agree but i cant so i just say im sorry
>he starts yelling and asking for my manager
>i get the manager and he talks the man down
>he offers a free cheeseless signature taco meal
>i say thats against the rules
>my manager says its ok and well just make the customer happy
>its not fair but i cant do anything about it
>the man asks if there are onions on the meal and he is told no
>he says good because he doesnt eat onions
>how dare he
>first he demoralizes the fine establishment and now he avoids the holy onion
>this is unacceptable
>i pray to Shrek
>onions burst the cash register drawer open
>the ogrelord himself comes from the bathroom wielding a brown stained urinal
>i glare at the customer knowing he will get what he deserved
>his onioniness walks up to the pair slowly
>their mouths agape they stand basking in his onioniness's radiance
>the customer gets down on his knees and starts praying
>he kneels down to Shrek and worships him
>the ogrelord reaches over the counter and grabs my manager
>what is happening
>his onioniness begins to swing the urinal down
>my boss explodes in a shower of sparkles and cherry lip balm
>i ask his onioniness what is going on
>"he was charmed"
>i stand in shock
>my boss had been working for prince charming
>i get on my hands and knees and beg forgiveness
>"you didnt know laddeh"
>i get pulled up to my feet as well as the rude customer
>i apologize to him as i did not know he was a fellow onion child
>he does the same
>i ask him why he doesnt eat onions if he is a follower of the ogrelord
>he says that he believes onions are holy and only for Shrek
>i disagree but i accept his own methods of worship
>we both get thrown over the ogrelords shoulders and have our pants torn off
>fists are placed against our tight anuses until his onioniness jerks forward and we fall around his fists
>we both grunt in pain but we know it must happen
>the fists start twisting back and forth and the pain is unbearable
>blood starts to spill inside of us
>we keep getting spun until blood almost leaks from us
>Shrek roars a mighty roar and points us toward the back kitchen
>the blood floods up past his fist and solidifies before flying out of our mouths as blood onions
>the red onions pile up in the back room and crush the rest of our equipment
>after the whole area is full we slide off his arms exhausted
>his onioniness pats us on the backside and leaves through the door
>the taco bell sign outside gets knocked down as a last act of antiestablishmentarianism
>i get up after a long time and start preparing the onions for dinner
>Shrek is love
>Shrek is life
YOU ARE READING
Shrek is Love Shrek is Life
FanfictionI am blessed to have had Shrek be a part of my life. Shrek has done so many wonderful things in my life that I can't remember them all in a coherent order. These are my fragmented memories of the ogrelord. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
