>be me
>be 21
>alone at bar celebrating birthday
>ask for drink that has onion extract for flavor
>bar tender says there arent any like that
>i say Shrek wouldnt like that
>he says thats childish
>i try to enlighten him about the ogrelord
>he says that if im going to act like a child i shouldnt be at the bar
>he is dissing the ogrelord
>i pray to Shrek
>onions bob to the surface of drinks
>his onioniness comes out from bathroom angry and fully erect
>patrons run around screaming
>one tries to fight Shrek who shoves penis through mans chest into heart
>bartender is cowering behind bar in fear
>the ogrelord pulls entire serving bar out of floor and throws it
>it doesnt hit anyone but blocks off exits
>bar tender quakes in fear with hands behind back
>his onioniness reaches toward him
>just before contact is made the man he pulls out a shotgun from behind his back and shoots
>shells hit Shreks stomach and bounce off hitting mans leg
>man yells in pain as the ogrelord lets out a mighty ogre roar
>grabs the man and shoves member all the way into mans eye coming out of his ear
>Shrek pulls back a little and pushes in again coming out mans other ear
>man is dead but the ogrelord keeps thrusting in and out
>mans face has too many holes to count
>"its all ogre now"
>the ogrelord runs off into bathroom followed by flush sound
>Shrek is love
>Shrek is life
YOU ARE READING
Shrek is Love Shrek is Life
FanfictionI am blessed to have had Shrek be a part of my life. Shrek has done so many wonderful things in my life that I can't remember them all in a coherent order. These are my fragmented memories of the ogrelord. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
