Just like me: phan

Just like me: phan pt51

*Phils pov* 

'Phil' He whispered 'Who did it?'

His voice was crumbling, I knew how much this hurt him, Why did I do it? I was just so numb, I guess that's no excuse though. I was now on the other side of the couch, far away from him, this was the furthest we'd been from each other since he found me, and to be honest, the distance was already killing me. I looked down at my blood stained sleeve, the vivid memory of the blade sliding across my wrist subsided in my mind. 

'I did' I breathed as the tears began to fall from my eyes.

Dan didn't look disappointed, his gentle brown eyes comforted me, and I felt myself relax slightly as he nudged over to my side of the couch. He wiped away some of my tears with his sleeve and took my wrist in his hands.

'Can I see?' He asked softly, running his fingers over the stain.

I nodded and turned away, I couldn't see Dan's reaction, I didn't want to see him break again. He began to roll the sleeve up to reveal the two deep cuts, still fresh, from moments ago.

I looked back at Dan, his features were falling apart, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself under control, trying to keep himself together, something I had already failed at doing myself.

'I'm sorry' I croaked. 'I'm so sorry'

He was quiet, still looking down at my wrist, he ran his thumb over the two cuts, the action was soothing and made me feel slightly better. He let the wrist go, but didn't cover it up, instead he pulled me into his arms.

'Don't be sorry' He murmured into my ear. 'You were alone, and scared, and so was I. You thought you were going to die...No-one could blame you for it...I'm not angry at you, I'm not dissapointed, I'm just happy that you're still here'

I smiled and rested my head under his neck,  he was basically lying on the couch by this point, and I was practically on top of him. He managed a smile, and kissed me on the nose. I think that's when I realized how lucky I was to have him, the loneliness I was consumed by before had gone away, and the void I had in my heart had been somewhat filled. 

'Thankyou' I whispered and kissed him, on the lips this time.

He kissed back, before pulling away and nodded, knowing I didn't want to talk much more about it.

'C'mon, I'll take you up to the bathroom and we can clean your knee' He maneuvered off the couch and held out both his hands to help me up. I fell on top of him and he stumbled backwards. 

'Sorry!' I giggled.

He laughed, before holding me around the waist and leading me over to where the stairs were.

'This'll be fun' He said sarcastically, looking up at the winding staircase.

'I'm sure' I mumbled.

We tripped and struggled up the, at least 54 step, staircase until we finally made it to the top. We sighed with relief when we hit the last step. 

'Good job! The bathroom's just here' He cheered pointing to the door a few steps to my right. 'just lean here and I'll go turn the light on before we attempt anything'

I leaned against the wall near the stairs and watched Dan go over to open the door and turn on the light, he also set up a wooden char next to the bath. He then came back over to me, and together we hobbled back into the bathroom. Dan helped me on to the wooden chair and asked if I could roll up the leg of my sweat pants, as he knelt down near the bath.

'So did they let you have a shower?' Dan said while running the taps of the bath. 

'Yeah, but...not a proper one, I would have liked one though' I sighed. 'Dan, you don't have to wash my knee for me, I can do that'

'Yeah' He blushed. 'but this is more fun'

'Oh, I'm sure it is' I smirked. 

'You're just jealous because you don't get to wash my leg' He smirked..

'What does that even mean?' I giggled.

'Sexual leg action' He laughed.

'I wish I got some sexual leg action once in a while' I laughed with him.

'You will' He bit his lip.

 'When?' I asked, the tone in the room changed, and he looked up at me. 

'When you're ready' He whispered.

'Dan' I looked down. 'I'm ready now'