Just like me: phan

Just like me: phan pt23

*phils pov*

'What did you dream about last night?' I croaked. I knew he didnt want to answer, I knew it was bad, but I needed to know, there were alot of things about dan that I needed to know. I loved him, I knew that, but I just needed to crack him open (not literally) and get him to tell me things, the way I told him...once I was forced.

Dan drove over to the curb and parked on the side of the street.

'I...um' Dan stuttered over his words, fighting between what he knew he had to tell me, and what he wanted to tell me, and let's be honest, he didnt want to tell me anything.

I had been in this position before, I hated it, I didnt like interrogation of any sort, even answering a simple question was really hard for someone like me.

'Would you like to hold the bravery lion?' I smiled.

'What's the bravery lion?' Dan asked, a puzzled look on his face.

'This' I reached into the glovebox of the car and pulled out a small stuffed lion toy. The bravery lion, I kept it there because I didnt want to take it to school anymore, for various reasons, mostly becuase I had lost all hope of ever being really brave.

'What does the bravery lion do? why do you own a-

'It made me feel safe when nothing else would' I sighed

Dan looked down. 'then why is it here?'

'I gave up' I croaked.

Dan reached over and took the small lion out of my hands, 'That's excatly what I dreamt about'

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'Phil, I found your ugly box, we both know that, I think...dont know, but I did. I found it and I couldnt get it off my mind last night...I dreamt...

'That I killed myself?' I knew that was it.

Dan nodded sadly, he closed his eyes and held the lion to his heart. 'It felt so real' he whispered.

I was silent, The only thing that was making any sort of noise was The origin of symmetry which was playing quietly in the background.

'You wouldn't really do that Phil?' Dan sniffed. 'Would you?'

He knew the answer to that question, he just didn't want to accept it, and niether did I. It was tough, I wanted to lie so badly, but I couldnt becuase Dan had been truthful to me, so I owed it to him.

'The night you found me I was going to commit suicide' I breathed. 'I... I was done'

Dan thought for a few seconds, before shaking his head.

'Phil, you listen to me' he moved closer to me, looking right into my eyes. 'You are a fucking beautiful human, do not let anyone tell you other wise, you matter, to me, to everyone, and if they can't see that they're twats...when you were telling me how I much I meant to you before, all I could think of was how much you mean to me. I care Phil, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me...Im so so fucking sorry about what I did to you, and I'll never forgive myself ...basically, if I ever lost you I wouldn't know what to do...and don't you fucking dare kill yourself EVER, becuase you are wonderful and lovely and strong and...and brave'

I was tearing up, 'Dan'

'Shh' Dan stroked my hair and took my hand in his. 'It's getting dark Phil, we better start driving again.

I nodded sadly.

'Here hold the bravery lion and get some rest before we get to the hospital' Dan handed me the lion and sat back in my seat, resting my head in the crook of his neck.

A few minutes passed and we were driving under a section of the freeway, it was lit by large street lights that towered over the drivers below. It was then that I thought would be a good time to check my knee, I rolled up my sweat pants and looked at the large gash. It was worse, the veins around it were now red, which almost insured that it was infected.

'It'll be okay Phil' Dan said reassuringly from behind the wheel, 'we're almost there'

I saw the bright lights of the hospital in the distance, and knew that we would be there soon, so I started to dose off into a light sleep before the car came to a startling holt.