Translucent

Twenty-six

I'm a coward. I left my mom in there with those monsters.

Alex had come to pick me up when I ran away like a coward. He drove us straight to Drew's house. I wanted Drew by my side. But Alex told me that Drew had left the house early in the morning after telling Alex that he's going out to get something really important. And he still wasn't home. Alex had tried his number couple of times. But it straight went to voice mail. He wasn't picking his phone. And since then I had been cursing myself for being such a wimp. A coward.

"Don't blame yourself for it. Claire! It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." Alex was trying to tell me that it isn't my fault. When it is. And I knew it.

"No! You don't understand. I'm a wimp. I ran away and left my mom with those monsters." I kept crying and mumbling nonsense constantly. I kept repeating it. The guilt of leaving my mom alone and running away like this, was weighing me down.

"Why's all of these happening to us? What did we do wrong?" I questioned as I buried my face in my hands.

"You know that. The same thing Miles had said to me once." I released my hands from my face and turned my attention to Alex. He was looking genuinely upset. He nodded. "And you know what's the worst thing about it. I didn't have answer to his question. And now, you have repeated those words again. I'm still speechless."

He chuckled sadly. "You sound just like him. You act like him. You remind me so much of him. Sometimes I got confuse that you're talking or him." I stayed quiet. His eyes were glossy, he's relieving those time he had with Miles. I guess this is what the friendship looks like.

This time I understood the meaning behind his words. You sound just like him.

Now I understood, why he was shocked when I told him to search under the bed for kit. Now I understood, why he cared for me this much. I was grateful for him. He was such a great friend.

"It's insane that you've never met him or never seen him. But you sound just like him. It's like you're his reflection. I-It-It's like h-he never left. He's he-here right in front of m-me. T-talking to me. I probably sound crazy right now. But I can't help it." My eyes welled up too as I saw him breaking down in front of me. He's right though. I'm sitting in front of him.

"Can you tell me about Miles? Now, he's a part of my life. I want to know him more, like you do. So I can understand his pain." I asked quietly. Because I knew some things about his life, what he led me through. I knew worst days of his life. His happy moments.

"You have right to know everything about him." He wiped his nose and sat straight, blinked couple of times before speaking.

"Three years ago, when we were in high school. He was about to turn eighteen in few days. We used to think, he's a blessed boy. He got everything, everything anyone could ever ask for. He was rich and handsome and quite tall. Almost every girl in school used to drool over him. He was about to get his scholarship in lacrosse in the next match. All his grades were high. His days were rainbow and sunshine." I didn't know my half brother had everything I could ever ask for. I suck at studies and games. I had lived an average life until now. With nothing unusual until now. I watched curiously as Alex was smiling as he was telling about Miles.

"He was a nice guy. He had a big heart. I just can't believe, he could have best friend like me. A quiet, outcast and an emo teen. He could do better.-" He chuckled. And I smiled.

"He could never do better than you. Alex. You're precious. I'm lucky to have you by my side." I reassured him telling him my genuine opinion about him. "You're a great friend."

"I told you, you're his reflection. He had said the same thing that you just said." He stated. I was shocked because this time, I didn't listen to the voice. I said what I had in my heart. I guess I do feel like him too.