Translucent

Fifteen

"Are you alright, Ma'am?"

I looked up to see, who this voice belonged to. And I found a very familiar face of Alex Black. Drew's friend. He was leaning in on my car watching me through window. He wore a worried expression on his face, squinted eyes, concerning about me. He was taken aback to see me and in this state. His eyes went wide open and lips parted open. He was lost for words. He never thought we would meet this way. I quickly wiped my face, composing myself and rolled the window down to get a better look of him. He was still dressed in black from head to toe as usual. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet, looking down on my lap, tracing lines on my jeggings.

"Are you hurt? Your car just jumped in front of my car spontaneously, an-and I freaked out. Then I heard you screaming in this car an-and I-I-I thought th-that you're hurt badly." This was the most he had spoken since I had met him. He usually was a quiet one. But guess I never know. This is way more awkward.

Oh, so that was his car. He was blasting the horns. I shook my head in denial, unable to form a word right now, telling him 'I don't get hurt'. At least by him. It was my fault that I wasn't paying attention. I was driving recklessly. I was furious. And, and I was scared. My breathing was still raspy and my throat was sore and my heart was beating so fast. And my mind was not working. He looked me with sad eyes.

"Here, let me help you." His voice echoed in my ears as my visions started to blur again. I couldn't help but burst out in tears in front of him. Not caring, What he would think about me. Nothing is going right. I didn't want to show him that how pathetic I was. So I put my head in my hands and started sobbing quietly, stifling my sobs.

I heard Alex pulled the door of the car open, then undone my seatbelt and pulled me gently out of the car while resting his hands around my shoulders to comfort me, then carried me in his car. It was hard to walk, when your whole body was shaking and burning in pain. But I managed somehow after stumbling once or twice.

"It's okay. You're okay. You're just traumatized a little." He said. I didn't say anything but just stared at the dashboard with my red and puffy eyes in his car. 

Without another word, he started driving. I didn't even know, where he was taking me, but I didn't bother to ask either. The drive was calm until I realised, where we were going. He was taking me home. I didn't want to go back. I just didn't. An unknown fear sat in my heart as I noticed my neighborhood. I jumped in my seat, startling Alex.

"No! Stop! Stop! I don't wanna go home. Please don't take me back. Please!!!!" I started begging him. He startled by my spontaneous moves and hit the brake right away.
He turned to me with scared look on his face.

"What happened? I'm taking you home. Why are you freaking out about this?" He asked, worried why I was behaving like this.

I composed myself and took a deep breath. I didn't want to go home now. But I couldn't tell him that. And I couldn't go to Drew's either because I didn't want him to see me like this. A nervous wreck. He would freak out for sure.

"J-just ta-take me somewhere, any-anywhere but home." I didn't even know, what I was saying. It didn't make sense anymore. I just wanted to escape.

Alex was watching me the whole time and the look in his eyes saying they held so many secrets. And I wanted to explore. His eyes were showing more than his face was.

He sighed loudly. "Ok, I'm taking you to my house." I nodded but didn't say anything. He sighed.

The ride was extremely quiet. Neither he said anything nor I tried. I was just staring out the window with my passive eyes. I didn't want to think anything, anymore.

We came to a halt as he parked his car in front of his house. I started undoing the seatbelt with my trembling hands when Alex spoke up.

"Mom's home. I can't take the risk of her seeing you like this. She'll kill me for sure. Which I clearly don't want." He told me in hush voice. I nodded. I knew, what he meant. When she had seen the blood on my face, she was almost going to kill Drew. And I didn't want to repeat the process again. Alex's mother was nice and kind. But I couldn't let her see me like this.

"We will enter in my room through window." I snapped my head at him at his statement. He's kidding. Right?  I couldn't climb in this state.

"No! I'm being serious." And he was dead serious. "You do know tha-that how to climb on the tree, that is located right behind my bedroom!?" He asked while making wild hands gesture. I nodded again.I guess I have to.

"But I'm no good at that. You gotta help me." I called back.

"I will. But try not to scream if you skip any branch. Yeah?" He tried to reason. "Yeah." I gulped.

We got out of the car and walked up to the front gate. He slid it aside as quietly as possible. We tip toed to the backyard as he whispered "I usually jump over the fence whenever I sneak in. Not the door."

I remembered watching him jumping over the fences and climbing the tree. Should I ask Alex about him?  No. I couldn't let him control me anymore. I just wanted to keep him out of my mind.

Alex helped me climb the tree safely, but my wounds were burning now against my clothes. I was biting inside of my cheek to supress the pain. Now I was in his room, sitting on his bed with my head rested on my knees and trying not to show any pain. Alex left the room to give me some time to myself. He came back after good few minutes with two mugs in his hands. I stayed in the same position, he had left me.

"Here. It will help to calm your nerves down." He handed me a mug of hot chocolate. I murmured a 'Thank you' and started sipping my hot chocolate as he sat on the corner of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly while observing me. "Fine, I guess."

"You got to be kidding me, Claire! You're anything but fine." His voice raised a little as I stared at him in confusion. He had no idea what he was saying. He didn't know anything. What I was going through.

"I know, you weren't crying because you had lost control over your car and almost got yourself in an accident. You were crying because there's something else." His voice was calm and soothing and he was right. But I couldn't let him know that. 

My eyes brimmed with tears as I recalled, what I did last night.

"Why didn't you want to go home? Why there's another bandage on your hand? Why are you wearing an oversized shirt? There is a reason. You're hiding something." He noticed everything. Where was he getting with it? How did he know everything?

"How do you know, there's something else?" The words escaped my lips as I mentally face palmed myself. Shit.

"'Coz I know." He sighed. He gnawed at his bottom lip to suppress them from quivering as he spoke. "You know, I had a best friend.... He trusted me with everything. He used to tell me everything. He was dealing with the same thing as you. He was in the same situation as you. But I couldn't h-help him, I couldn't save him in time..... You know, you remind me so much of him." He was genuinely upset. His eyes were shimmering with tears. How do I feel about this? Hurt? Sad? Conflicted?  Did he want me to open up to him?

"You hardly know me for one day. How can you relate me with him?" I asked plainly.

"You know, you'll never know. Some secrets weren't meant to be told." His answer was quizzical. But I didn't push him. He was right although. I'll never know.

"What happened to him? To your....best friend. Did he make it?" I asked further. I kind of intrigued in his friend. His friend reminded me of someone. And that someone was him.

He chuckled sadly. "He couldn't make it."

"He disappeared." 

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(Hold on tight guys. Things are going to unreveal. Tears will shed. Wounds will reopen. Ready for emotional roller coaster.
I'm being dramAtic right now!
Shout out for another Fall out boy reference.)