Translucent

Seventeen

I'm grateful for Alex. He's done so much for me today.

I didn't know, how did I end up in here? Was this another nightmare? Or was it a fucked up flashback, that was going to haunt me in reality? My life was already a mess. My brain was not working anymore. I was so stressed out. And this boy was crushing my any hope possible. I just made myself a joke. I was bawling my eyes out, showing how pathetic I was, and practically acting completely weird right in front of Drew, while latching onto him for my miserable life, in Alex's bedroom. And probably, he was listening me ranting from behind the door. It was so embarrassing. And I'm afraid Drew will hate me from now on. Who would want to be with a wimp like me?

My life had become a twisted nightmare. And the sick part was, I woke up and found myself in Alex's house, Alex's bedroom, sitting in on Alex's bed grasping on sheets crumbling it in my bone crushing grip, watching the scene unfolding before me. The room was in dark, only night-lamp was illuminating on the nightstand, and an awkward silence was surrounding us. Yes, 'us'. Me, Alex and Him. I couldn't believe my eyes for a minute. Wasn't Alex talking to Drew? Where did Drew go now? Where did he come from? And frankly he was looking in the exact same condition as I had been witnessing him lately.

Ok! This was a dream only. Anything could be happen in dreams. It was just my mind was playing tricks on me. Why was I freaking out then? I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't real. And I was safe. Safe and sound. But who was I kidding? I had witnessed, what had happened earlier, and it ended on my innocent skin. I had almost succeeded to bleed myself to death. Not again. What was coming next?

My eyes fixated on him as I watched him leaning against the window with shattered hopes in his eyes and lips trembling, fear wrecking through his body, bleeding and bruised, exhausted. And there was Alex in his night clothes, standing straight, worried features, pain in his eyes, unable to form a word, watching helplessly as he was breaking down in front of him.

'I'm trying, Alex!'

His voice was broken. It was shattered to the core, disturbed and shaken to the point where it showed in the trembling of his voice, of his mouth, of his hands.

'Mom is getting worse and I know it's his doing.' He couldn't help himself and slid down the window and to the floor, curling in on himself, pulling knees closer to the chest, burying himself, trying too hard to escape the cruel and harsh reality. Alex hurried over to him, resting his hand on his trembling and worn out shoulders, and trying to sooth him.

"We'll find a way to stop him! You don't have to worry. We'll stop him one day." Alex, here, was trying to be strong. And I was watching them helplessly, my feet stay rooted in place. I was unable to move.

'There's no PATH, Alex! There's no path. The police is on his side. The medics have fucking refused to provide any information. I have no evidence against him. My life is turning hell day by day. My mom is dying before my eyes. And I can't fucking DO anything to better the situation. To save her.' He cried and I flinched at his sudden outburst. I wanted to run over, to hug him, to tell him, that everything will be okay! That he didn't deserve this. But I couldn't. I was invisible to them.