I Don't Wike It: The Cliches and Sterotypes of Wattpad

Fondue and Language

Fondue. The ultimate declaration of one's love. As described by Captain America, at least.

Be careful when and how you introduce fonduing into your story. Make sure your characters actually know each other before they make love.

Yes, that's right, make love. It isn't just sex or fucking or screwing sometimes. Sometimes, it's just two people showing their love for each other in the most intimate way possible.

If that's what you're going for - making love, not just screwing - then it is imperative that you wait to put sex in a story.

I know, I know, the impatient chanting of "smut" from readers can make you rush it. But you know what, they can wait. They can wait for the right time, just like your characters.

However, if you're just wanting two characters to have a casual fling that might turn into something more later on down the road, the fonduing can happen as soon as you want it to.

Unfortunately, I can't tell you how to actually write a sex scene, because I don't have the slightest idea how. But, when I do acquire this knowledge, I will be more than happy to write a chapter about it.

I can tell you this: too much information is bad. In my opinion, at least. Don't just give a play by play of every moving part. Don't just blatantly state the names of the "instruments".

If you're brave enough, read other sex scenes in books (maybe not 50 Shades of Gray because...um...no). But don't just copy these other sex scenes. Take them all as guidelines, and create your own.

Another thing that I personally would do is to just describe the foreplay, and not the actual deed. But that comes down to everyone's personal choice, and a lot of times readers will be disappointed if they are deprived of finally seeing their two favorite lovers fonduing. 

But if they're like me, they feel awkward like they're spying on someone's honeymoon night and turn all red. Or maybe they're innocent and get scarred from too much information.

When I was probably about fourteen, but extremely sheltered to the point that I was like a naive twelve year old mentally, I was reading a book when all of a sudden here's a three page sex scene very graphically describing what certain parts are doing and a bunch of other jarring, kind of gross things.

That's why I'm like "describe foreplay but not the actual fonduing part".

Though recently I did read a book where the whole fondue was captured in writing, and I was fine, just felt like I was spying on people. The reason why I read it, though, was because it was chapter forty and the characters had yet to do anything but kiss and they finally consummated their love and I just had to see it. 

But I felt awkward anyway.

'Cause I'm weird.

Another piece of advice I can give you is this: always put a warning at the front of the chapter where the fonduing will occur. 

This is just a courtesy for younger readers, or people who just need to be able to mentally prepare themselves (*points to self*), or for readers who would just rather skip over the fonduing.

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And now for our other subject in this two-in-one chapter: Language!

Along with another Captain America reference comes some advice on cussing in stories.

Personally, I'm fine with people cussing. Cuss words are just words. 

However, I do get annoyed when cuss words are overused for the sake of sounding "cooler" or more "mature".

And some people don't like being confronted with cuss words left and right. Which is also fine.

If you, the writer, need to use strong language to convey the severity of a situation or emotion, do it.

Unfortunately, no matter how you try, you can't please everyone.

You just need to be careful with cuss words. Use them if something bad or dramatic is going down, as they will help convey the severity of the situation.

If you have a character who's just a foul mouthed person, they can cuss all the time, left and right, as that will help them be distinguished from other characters.

In my Survivors series about the zombie apocalypse, there is a character who cusses like a sailor. And that's just her.

But be careful not to have them dropping the f-bomb every three words. Because that's annoying, for everyone, whether they like cussing or not.

If someone just got thrown through a window or is being shot at, that's a good time to insert a cuss word. If they just ran into their ex, another good time, though "shit" would be more probable than "fuck". 

However, if it is in character for them to be rather "foul mouthed", go ahead and let them say the "f" word. 

Also, I think in certain places, the word "fuck" isn't as shocking, like England, perhaps. I live in America, so I don't know.

But don't just put it in there for the sake of "coolness".

Just think about those movies that insert "fuck" into every sentence just to get an "R" rating. It ruins the movie.

Don't get "swear happy". I do that sometimes in my own stories, because I live vicariously through my characters, and they're able to say whatever they want. But I try to be careful. I fail sometimes, but I try.

Use these strong words wisely, and you'll be fine. Having cuss words in a story isn't bad, though it is possible to get by without them.