What's in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
Well, now that the ice has been broken (you fell through it trying to run away from the cringe) I'll get right into it.
Hear ye! Hear ye! I'm on my name bullshivik again.
Long, long ago, in the ancient times before people ACTUALLY raided the world's toilet paper supply, I used to jokingly write in this here book about fictional guy's names having so many X's in them, and I SWEAR TO GOD the X's are even more prevalent now!
I've been lightly getting back into reading lately after a break (aka only reading fan fiction but shh!) and I got this one book, and I swear both the main guy's names have X's in them. No shade to the author, it's fun anyway, but like...really?
The age of Ryder is over...the time of Alexander Xander Xavier Xerxes Jaxon X-Ray Xylophone has come!
The new (and I use the term 'new' lightly because I'm always a few years behind on stuff) trend I'm noticing for fictional male characters' names are really out-there stuff. Ryder is old hat. Ryder is the new John (I like the name John, don't get me wrong). Now all the Cool Boys(TM) have to have names like Kayden, Brayden, Xaden, Zade, Blade, Axel, and what-have-you.
Oh yeah, and GRAYSON.
The name Grayson (in fiction) has become the bane of my existence (not really, but I'm being dramatic for *effect*).
I swear, the one time I went book shopping recently the amount of blurbs I read that said something along the lines of "mysterious, testosterone-fueled asshole millionaire hunk GRAYSON XAVIER" was...well, there may have only been a couple but it's still weird it's happened twice, thrice even! And I'm just like...let me guess...this GRAYSON is totally ripped and stands at a whopping six-foot-seven and is hung like a---okay, uh, moving on.
Some of the fictional fellas' names I came across in my brief perusal of the very over-priced but nicely-organized shelves of the local Barneys and Nobleys were as follows:
GRAYSON (oh my godddddd)
ALEXANDER--YES REALLY!
(side note: the name Alexander is a bit of an inside joke. It's actually not weird)
Kaden
Draxon (OMG THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!! not really, but anyway)
and maybe I spoke too soon about Ryder because I found a Riden
(and Riden? Really? What's his last name, Dirty? gonna catch me 'Riden' dirty....)
I even saw a Ryle? Ew? Like what?? I can already tell the character is god-awful with a name like that!
The name Ryle gets me RILED! Whoever came up with that frankly disgusting alternative to Ryder (JUST NAME HIM RYDER YOU COWARD!) surely isn't from the south, right? Has never heard anyone say "rile" in a fighting sense, right? As in, getting riled up? I don't know, maybe they named him that because he's an angry fighting dude like HaRdIn (I refuse to deface the word 'man' by using it to describe these brats).
Mostly I just like to nitpick at stuff, okay? If you've read any of this book at all, I'm sure you know that. I am dramatic, a mite irritating, and I like to rant nonsensically about stuff that doesn't even really need ranting about, per se (except for Hardin. That little piece of sh*t always needs ranting about).
So here I am, on my name bullshivik again.
Namely (pun?) the Graysons and the X's and the Z's and the way so many fictional guys, on wattpad or otherwise, have the most look-at-me, look-at-me names.
And I'm not sure if this is just a romance genre thing, or just a YA thing (I do mostly read YA because grown-up books have...you know...mattress mambo), although some of the books I looked at weren't YA and were, in fact, adult romance which was like Ahh, Avert Thine Eyes but I'm a big girl, so whatever.
I don't know. I just kind of miss the classics. Like Edward.
Or wait.
No.
Not like Edward.
Ew.
We need a John renaissance. That's what we need.
So, that being said, in honor of the X's and the Z's and the Graysons taking over the fictional world, I have invented a new name (that probably isn't actually new at all):
Graxon.
I really hope this isn't some weird slur on urban dictionary.
CZYTASZ
I Don't Wike It: The Cliches and Sterotypes of Wattpad
LosoweNo! Not the cliches! Aah they're killing me! (Figuratively, of course) Here's a book filled with me rambling, ranting, and giving 'advice'. It's funny-ish, I promise! (Also, most of it was written years ago by wee little idiot me. Older me joins in...
