I Don't Wike It: The Cliches and Sterotypes of Wattpad

Mr. Furry is a Howl and a Half 2 - Electric Boogaloo

Guess who's back? (Back again!)

Hello? 

*intense echo*

Well, I don't know if anyone is still here, but anyway, as one may or may not know, a little while ago I tried to resurrect this book and didn't really stick with it (I don't really stick with anything anymore, I think friggin' YouTube shorts [because I am old, Gandalf, and don't use tiktok] ruined my attention span), but here I am again. How long it'll last? A question that, alas, cannot be answered.

But anyway, at about 2am one night (morning), I was reading my sister some old excerpts from this book and we were laughing/cringing at the "Mr. Furry is a Howl and a Half" chapter, and this bit in particular:

His cheekbones and jaw could slice potatoes, I was sure.

The comments on this line were especially hilarious and one in particular, about Mr. Furry slamming his face into a table to slice onions, got the ol' gears turning, and thus, the following display of broken humor was born:

Mary Sue was shocked when Ryder McHotAlpha climbed through the kitchen window, his blue orbs staring into her also blue orbs (and into the soul she didn't have).

"This kitchen is mine," he growled in a husky voice that reverberated through his muscular chest.

He grabbed an onion off the counter with his large Alpha hands.

"This onion is mine," he snarled sexily.

"O-okay," she stammered clumsily.

He slammed his face down on the onion, his sharp jaw slicing right through it. He used his cheekbones to dice. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Mary Sue swooned. She adored a man who was in touch with his emotions.

Ah, yes. The long-dreaded sequel.

Anyway, I shall leave you with these parting words, a.k.a. one of the best sentences I've ever written in my entire life:

He may have been a werewolf, but woo buddy, was that man a fox.