Let the rest of the life begin (After mockingjay) Book 1

Chapter 33: The difficult choice

Remember that Cassidy still is in a coma, so don't think that she has woken up, because she hasn't.

-------------------

Chapter 33

-Cassidy-

Why is it so dark? I'm really scared. I don't remember anything. The last thing I do remember is that I couldn't breathe. But now I can breathe. I think so anyway, but in the same way it feels like I can't. It feels like it's artificial or that I get help to breathe in some way, like I get air in my lungs, but it dosen't feel like it's me who breathes it in. Weird.

"The doctor said that she really has to want to come back, in order to wake up", I hear my Uncle Peeta say.

Who is he talking about? Is he talking about me? Wait a minute ... Am I in a coma? Yeah, now that I think about it, it feels like I am, I mean it fits right. It's dark and I can't see.

"What if she doesn't want to come back?" I hear Finn say.

Finns voice sounds weird. It sounds ... Dead! Oh Finn.

I try to talk but I can't, it dosen't feel like my mouth is moving at all. Stupid coma!

"She wants to Finn, she wants to come back", I hear my Aunt Katniss say.

"No, I don't think she does, what do she have to come back to? She has been harassed by them forever now, since I went to school, but she is the only one who stood up against them, she was the only one brave enough", I hear Finn say quietly. "She doesn't have much to come back to, so why would she?"

Hm... I have to admit that he's right in what he says. Why the heck should I go back to wherever they are? If I do, my life will become just as normal and Kimmie and the others will go on to harass me.

But what exactly did they do? How did I end up in a coma? Oh it's really frutrating not to be able to remember what the hell happened.

But I don't think that I should go back. I really don't, why should I? What do I have to come back to...

"Finn ... she has you", I hear Charlotte say. Oh Charlotte are you out there? What are you saying? "I don't think you understand how much you mean to her, after you became friends again, you where almost the only thing she could ever talk about, how she became angry when girls followed you everywhere, how beautiful your eyes are, 'so green, like grass', she used to say, how good looking you are, how she loves that you are so good with Willow, that she loves the way you say her name and looks at her".

She's right. I think I remember telling her that. I'm not quite sure though, I don't really know if these voices I hear are real. I really don't. Maybe I imagine or something. Maybe ... Maybe I'm not in a coma, after all. Maybe I'm dead. I mean, I can't see anything, maybe I'm just blind? But no, that doesn't make any sense though, I can't talk either and ... oh I don't know. I really don't, I don't even know if my memories are real.

But when I think of Finn, I feel something strong ... Like he's important ... No, I mean, really important. But what is he to me? A friend? Hm... But why would I be angry if girls follows him around? Were we more than friends? I think ... I wanted to, but I really don't think he wanted that.

"Cassidy, please, if you hear me ..." I hear Finns voice say. "...If you hear me, I beg of you, please try to come back ... Cassidy I love you, so please come back to me, please".

Wait! Wait what did he say? Loves me? He loves me? Finn loves me? What?! This I really don't remember. Oh why don't I remember?

What am I? Am I just a thought? You know like a whisper or something you just hear in your head?