Let the rest of the life begin (After mockingjay) Book 1

Chapter 18: Feelings of guilt

Chapter 18

-Katniss-

"Peeta I want cheese buns", I complain from the sofa.

I loved Peetas cheese buns before, but now during the pregnancy I eat almost nothing but cheese buns.

I do almost nothing either. I'm pretty big right now and becomes overworked pretty fast, so Peeta insists on doing almost everything here at home.

"Cheese buns coming in a sec, my love", Peeta says and I see him walk from the kitchen with a bag of cheese buns.

He sits next to me, open up the bag and gives me a cheese bun.

"Thank you darling", I say, taking the bun and put it in my mouth and take a big bite of it.

The big bite with dough and cheese melts in my mouth and fills my mouth with the delicious taste of melted cheese.

"I've probably got a competitor", Peeta laughs. I look at him and raise one eyebrow. "I think you love my cheese buns more than me", he says and pretend to be sad.

"Ha ha very funny", I say not laughing. "But I really don't deserve you".

"What? Yeah you do Katniss", Peeta protests. "Why do you even say that?"

"Well because, I'm sitting here on my lazy butt in the sofa and eat cheese buns, while you do everything yourself", I say. "And I do absolutely nothing, Peeta I don't deserve you, you're too cute, nice and helpful, and I'm ... grumpy".

Peeta takes my hands between his both warm and big once.

"Katniss ... honey you're carrying my baby inside your belly, I can't ask anything from you, you've already done so much for me, more than I ever can give you, you're giving me a daughter", he says. "And I would do anything for my wife and daughter, just name it and I'll do it".

One of his hands slides down to my belly and the baby begins to kick. She always kicks the most and strongest when Peeta's touching my belly, no matter if it's just a finger, his hand or his lips.

"I love you so much Peeta Mellark", I say. "The baby loves you too, because she never kicks this much and strong than when you touch my belly".

Peeta leans forward to kiss me, which results in an extra hard kick.

"Ouch", I gasp and Peeta withdraws.

"Does it hurt that much baby?" He asks anxiously.

"No no", I say. "She just likes it when you kiss me".

"Okay but you have to tell me if it hurts too much", he says. "And I'll stop right away".

"Shut up", I say, grab Peetas shirt, I pull him closer and put my lips on his warm and soft once.

My stomach starts rumbling. Peeta laughs into the kiss and pull away.

"I think you're hungry again", he laughs.

"Well, I eat for two", I say and shrug before I grab another cheese bun.

***

Peeta is in the bakery. I want to go to him, but I'm too scared. People will see me and I don't want to risk it, so I just stay put in the sofa.

The door bell rings and I waddle up to the door to open it.

"Hey Katniss", Julie says cheerfully when I open the door.

She has Hunter with her. Well she doesn't have of a choice really, Gale works, just like Peeta.

"Hey Julie", I say.

Julie puts Hunter down and he runs in right away and she embraces me.

It's a little strange how we have become basically best friends in just a few months.

When we come into the living room, we find Hunter with my bag of cheese buns.

"Well, they are overly good", I laugh.

"Oh Katniss, I can't get over how big you've become", Julie says delighted.

"Yeah and it feels", I say. "My back hurts so much".

"Yeah I know, I've suffered through it too, you know", she laughs. "But after this, you will get something so pure and innocent, a baby who is depending on you and that you will love more than yourself".

"I already know the feeling of loving someone more than myself", I say.

"Yes but imagine an addition", Julie says.

"Yeah you're right", I smile.

We walk into the kitchen and I take out a pack of ice cream and sit by the dining table.

"What are you going to do?" Julie asks and put som ice cream in a bowl to Hunter.

I know what she means. She means with the child and keeping her a secret.

"I really don't know Julie", I sigh. "I don't want to keep her a secret, but what can we do? She won't exactly have a normal life".

We eat with two spoons from the same ice cream pack.

"But Katniss, none of us who are friends with you and Peeta have a normal life", Julie says.

Oh no. She's right. They don't. If they are seen with us, they are recognized as 'Katniss and Peeta Mellark's friends', the rest of their lives. We basically destroyed Finn's, Cassidy's and little Hunter's lives.

"Katniss what is it?" Julie asks.

And this is when I notice that I'm crying.

"I'm so sorry Julie, I want you to be able to have a normal life", I say. "You guys would be better off without us".

"No Katniss, don't even say that", Julie protests. "We wouldn't. We have it good".

I hope so. I really do.

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

Soo it was a while ago eh? ;) But here you go,

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-Josephine 💋