Let the rest of the life begin (After mockingjay) Book 1

Chapter 5: Johannas past

Chapter 5

-Katniss-

"Katniss! Are you listening?" Effie asks irritated.

"Huh?" I ask, which of course proves that I wasn't listening.

I'm sitting on the bed in mine and Peeta's bedroom.

After Haymitch dropped me down in here, he and Effie agreed that the girls and I, are going to be in here all the time and Peeta and the guys are going to be somewhere else in this big house.

Johanna and Annie is huddling next to me while Effie stands in front of the bed staring at me.

"Who have you chosen as ring bearer, I asked!"

"Pollux daughter Cassidy", I reply.

Pollux came to visit Peeta and I in District 12 several years ago and he happened to meet a certain girl named Felice. They immediatley fell in love and got married.

Felice didn't care that Pollux can't speak and neither does Cassidy. So now they also live in District 12.

We have been in here for almost three hours and only discussed exactly everything about the wedding. But luckily I don't have to try on the dress because I did that yesterday.

I'm really tired and now I discover a problem. Wherever Peeta is going to sleep tonight, it's not going to be in here with me. He's going to sleep somewhere else because Effie refuses to let us get even a single glimpse of each other until tomorrow at the altar.

I won't be able to sleep, and if I drift off, I'll be awakened by my nightmares that never disappears. Or yes they do sometimes, but only because Peeta has been there, his warm body next to mine, to comfort me. Tonight Peeta won't be here and be able to comfort me.

After another two hours, Effie finally finished with her babbling. I've only listened to her with half an ear though. I always managed to end up with my head on Annie's shoulder but I always have to get my head up just as quickly so Effie doesn't start yelling and go on and on for hours.

"Sweet dreams Katniss", Annie says warmly and kisses me on my cheek before she leaves the room to let Finn's very own poor babysitter go to sleep sometime. I really feel for that man, seriously, he doesn't do anything but babysit Finn all day. And Finn is not an easy child to handle.

Johanna lingers, unsure if she should stay or go.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

Johanna sits on the edge of my bed.

"No, not exactly", she says a little absent.

"I can see that something is bothering you", I insist and sit beside Johanna at the edge of the bed. "Come on Johanna, what's up?"

"Okay, but it's just that ... you know when Peeta and I were tortured like that several years ago, I could never understand one thing?" She begins.

I'm starting to get a bad feeling, afraid of where she's going to lead this conversation. The last thing I want to hear about is how she and Peeta was tortured. If she goes there I will for sure get unbearable nightmares tonight.

"Peeta was so hard tortured, he was the one of us two that suffered most really, I'm not saying they were kind to me, oh no not even close, but Peeta... well to be honest I don't really understand how he survived it".

Tears are flowing from my eyes. Oh Peeta. But I pull myself together and stop crying.

"But anyway, the day he started to forget you, you know his love for you and all, I asked him how he can love you so much that he is willing to take so much torture, you know we thought you didn't love him back for real, we was captive for a long time", she continues.

I start to feel ridiculously scared.

"And what did he say?" I ask quietly.

"First he babbled in all eternity about that you're his whole life, if he doesn't have you, he has absolutely nothing and that his life wouldn't be worth living, but than he said such a simple word, very easy to say, an innocent word but with so much meaning; he said that you make him happy".

I just sit here and feel the warmth begin to replace the cold feeling I first had. Oh my Peeta.

"And that got me thinking, can a person really make another person so happy that he's willing to be tortured to death for her?"

The tears start to flow from Johanna's eyes.

"Johanna?"

I've never seen Johanna cry. She's always been the tough and nonchalant girl, not the emotional and vulnerable.

Now she shows a completely different side of herself to me, maybe because we've grown ourselves so tight with each other.

"I thought I would never see another person love someone as much as Peeta loves you", Johanna says. "But now it's clear to me that you do, love him as much that is, frankly I don't understand why you didn't got married before, I know you said that you both wanted to wait, but come on, you two lovebirds can't take your hands off eath other".

I chuckle and Johanna pull herself together.

"Did you understand that just now?"

"No, a few years ago. I've been so cruel to you because I've always thought that Peeta deserved someone better who loves him just as much, suddenly it dawned on me that you do, but I haven't dared to talk about it with you before", she replies.

"About love?"

"You fool", Johanna mills. "Of course about love, that's what we talk about right?"

"Yeah that's true", I laugh, but Johanna isn't laughing, in fact it looks like she'll cry again.

"You know, in my youth, I actually was quite attractive, whatever one might think now. I had a boyfriend in District 7 when I was selected to the Hunger Games, he was also selected, but our mentors forbade us to act as boyfriend and girlfriend. We were allies though but he got murdered by one from District 1, I tried to save him but I didn't succeed. They cut off my rescue attempt and it was in the beginning of the Games, so after that I pretended to be weak and faint, so they would ignore me and when I got the chance I killed everyone I saw, I wanted to avenge my boyfriend's death", Johanna says and now the flowing tears glistens again. "It was also one of the reasons I hated you; you could save your guy, but I couldn't save mine".

I also started to cry. Poor Johanna.

"Johanna, I'm so sorry, I had no idea..." I start but Johanna interrupts me.

"Of course you didn't", she says. "I don't exactly walk around and tell people that, right? It was just my family and my closest friends who knew, but they... they were killed by Snow, apparently my rescue attempt was rebellious and blah, blah, blah and Katniss don't feel sorry for me, because it's now that I'm actually starting to feel happy again".

I don't know what to say. I can't get one word out. I just lean forward and hug Johanna and to my relief she doesn't shake me off.

"But if you tell someone I can promise you that Peeta will definitely not be able to recognize you in the future", Johanna warns but smiles.

"Of course I won't", I promise. "Your secret's safe with me".

Johanna smiles wide.

"You'll be very beautiful tomorrow Katniss, but you are everyday, so Peeta is right, it probably won't be any difference", Johanna says and gets up. "I can honestly say that I'm proud to be your bridesmaid tomorrow ... even though I still don't know what it is ... hm? Maybe I should start to listen to Effies chatter henceforth".

She disappears out the door, leaving me alone perplexed that Johanna Mason thinks I'm beautiful.

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Sooo... Johannas past...? What did you think about it?

Pleas vote and comment, let me know your thoughts about this chapter and story, otherwise I can't make it any better ;)

Well I hope you liked it anyway :)

-Josephine 💋