Shawn Mendes Imagines

7 - Broken

"What's wrong, angel? What happened?" He whispered.

"I already told you, it's nothing." I muttered.

His eyes looked into mine before slowly lowering to my wrist. Pain filled his eyes as he saw the blood coming out of the cloth. He slowly took the bandage out just to see the cuts I made. The look on his face made me cry even more. It feels like I betrayed him. I made a promise yet I destroyed it once the blade made contact with my skin.

"I thought you stopped." He said, looking at me as his voice cracked and tears welled up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Shawn. I really am." I managed to choke out. "I... I tried to stay clean."

"Why, y/n? Why would you hurt yourself? Can you not see that I'm trying to do everything for you? Maybe we should just take you to a therapist."

"Shawn, don't. You do know that the more you try to help me the more worthless I actually feel? Sometimes I even wonder why I'm in this world when all I am is a bother. I'm a bother to my parents, I'm a bother to my cousins, to my relatives, to my friends... and especially to you. Shawn, you're my best friend and I just... I feel like I'm dragging you down from several things. It feels like I forced you to be my babysitter or something. I'm just done."

I continued to sob harder onto his shoulder as he held me as tight as he could, as if I would slip out of this grip and turn into dust if he didn't. His soft, angelic voice filled the air as he sang to me. The song is about a girl who keeps trying to focus on everything but still breaks down once it gets too much. Once he stopped singing, I was able to calm myself down.

"y/n, you will never be a bother to me. I love you too much to let you go that easily." He whispered to me.

I dared myself to look into his eyes which I knew held the feeling of betrayal in them. But instead of seeing the emotion I expected, they were soft and caring. His thumb wiped the tears that streamed down my cheeks as he leaned closer. And as if in a cliché movie, his lips met mine and his arms held me closer. I kissed him back, of course especially because of the feelings I have for him. He pulled away and took the gauze off my wrists before kissing the cuts.

"I'm willing to help you through this. I'm willing to do anything for you. I'm here to fix you." He said, looking into my eyes.

"Shawn... You can't fixed what is broken. I'm too far down to go back up." I muttered.

"But I can try. I want to help you through everything, y/n. I'm never giving up on you."

"Shawn-"

"I'm serious, y/n. I'm not leaving you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. I love you, okay? More than just as a sister, more than just a friend. I love you so fucking much that it hurts me to see you in pain and know that there is nothing I can do to take it away."

All I could do was rest my head on his shoulder. He ran his fingers through my hair as I kept quiet. I know I should tell him how I really felt but I don't know exactly what to say and I know he's eagerly waiting for an answer.

"Y/n, say something." He whispered.

"What's there to say?" I managed to mutter.

"I... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't-"

"Shouldn't have said that? Don't be silly and stop calling yourself stupid."

"But-"

I just rolled my eyes and cut him off by kissing him. He kissed back as soon as he realized what I was doing.

"I love you too, Shawn." I whispered to him.

He just smiled before standing up and carrying me to the bed. He put me down gently before laying down beside me and holding me close.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do to fix you and I'm going to prove to you that you were never even broken, just a little cracked."

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A/N: I'm sorry if this made you cry or anything. I wrote this while I was having trouble with staying strong. Have you ever had those moments when you lay down on your bed, feeling numb and close your eyes just to have other people's voices fill your head about how pathetic and worthless you are? If yes, I know how you feel. I just wish I had a Shawn Mendes to bring me out of this.

On a more serious note, if there are people reading this story who suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts, just know that you're not alone. There are people who are willing to help you and I'm one of them. Even though I had just said that I'm practically one of you guys, I don't mind helping. I would rather make someone else feel better rather than wasting my time, trying to fix myself. You can even message me here on Wattpad or DM me in Twitter (@/fangurf16) and/or Instagram (@/ms.annanymous). Just know that I'm here and I'm not leaving.

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