Inevitable Flaw

Chapter 33: Dinner

"Are you sure your parents don't want to just leave with us?" I ask her again while I am starting to get out of parking.

"No, I already told them we needed to be alone."

"I can't wait to show you everything I bought you!" She rushes in pure excitement.

I narrow my eyes at her and she just shrugs. She talks in an exceptionally fast pace about her trip to Lebanon, from her airport journey to every single day following. I am almost surprised at the level of detail behind the information she remembers. I zoom in and out of her conversation eventually and feel a bare clawing at my heart as I remember our planned trip to Dubai.

My father had done it all for me.

I couldn't force a low on myself so I continued to hold my chin up and smile at everything Ayah was saying.

The past couple of days have been a lot better. I gripped onto Rick's words and slid along them. But inevitably, they were starting to fade on me slowly but surely and I didn't like that. I found myself creeping into a dark hole every time I remembered my father or anything that sparked a memory of him. I didn't want to relapse anymore, but it was very hard.

And so out of my control.

I pass my extra jacket to Ayah while we walk out to get breakfast. There are loads of people surrounding the building so we opt for another place. It's a little old but so rich with a homely feel once we enter, that I am instantly attracted. I welcome the fresh smell of bread and buns intermingled with tea and coffee. It smells so perfect. There aren't that many people seated so we have a variety of tables to choose from. I walk over to one by the window and Ayah follows.

We order our food and eat. Ayah continues her stories and I just watch her face brightening at every little word. She looks so blissfully happy, it reverberates over to me in almost a cynical way. She is so into every little occurrence she talks about, that her food turns completely cold once she remembers to eat. I try to force a smile while sitting dazed at her level of joy.

"You're crying?" she suddenly says and I jump over dramatically in my chair to wipe my eyes.

"Aa-?" her face looks splattered with guilt and hurt.

"I-I just missed you, that's all," I say while laughing nervously to clean my face, completely aware that that's only half the truth.

"I did too," She says the words so sincerely that they mean a lot, but I can tell she knows that's not just it.

Thanks to me, the rest of the breakfast is as awkward as anything. I want to literarily punch my self in the face for being so stupid. I was so sensitive to everything, it disgusted me. I needed to get myself together. Especially because I knew I lost my only friends for this same issue and I couldn't dare imagine seeing Ayah leaving as well.

It would hurt too much.

I drop Ayah off at her house after she constantly dismisses an invite to my house. Thinking about the level of jetlag she is experiencing, I let her loose.

"I'll call you as soon as I catch up on sleep," she reassures with a wide smile and I nod. She looks back over her shoulder once she is trying to open the door and it shadows utmost worry. I let her scan my face for a while before she silently leaves.

I scream in frustration at how I ruined everything.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I run home and force Aasif out of bed. He eventually gets up and we leave the house to start our daily routine. We park in the midst of the wilderness and I can feel the fresh winter air as soon I am out of the car. This place has become so familiar now.