Moments Worth Facepalming in Percy Jackson Fanfics

Dying Sexily, Dippy Fresh, and Rainbow Laserbeam Shooting Noses

(Published December 13th, 2015)

Dying Sexily, Dippy Fresh, and Rainbow Laserbeam Shooting Noses

~~~

~Why aren't there any quests on Percy, Annabeth, and Grover?

Oh right, because Percy Jackson and the Olympians never happened. Only The Heroes of Olympus did.

~When there are more mentions of Grover in this book than any other fan fiction you've read...

Combined.

~Guys, seriously, there are other names that mean "moon" besides Luna.

Like Selene...

And Crescent...

And Channary...

And Jannali...

And yes, I did just list a bunch of Lunars from The Lunar Chronicles.

#DealWithIt

~His dark brown eyes bore into mine, as if to say, 'I love you. Please don't get hurt. But while you're gone, please stop by Artemisia and pick up a tapestry because tapestries over there are awesome. Oh, and also pick up some orangutan meat because me likes orangutan. And I eat human meat haha lolz okay BAI wait did I tell you that Nico and Travis and Connor would be totes cute together? #ShipIt'

I gave him a quick kiss then looked back at him with a face that said 'I'll stay safe, I'll get the tapestry and meat, I didn't know you were into canabowlprism, I am too! And omgs, Stollico is, like, my OTP! Love you, baby!'.

I guess everyone has telepathy now.

~Piper is now this super emotional girl who's desperate for romance.

*Jason and Reyna making out*

Piper: wtf jason y u do dis 2 mee???

Jason: NU PIPER IT'S NO WHAT YOU THINK!

Reyna: *laughs evilly* I STOLL YOUR MAN HAHSHAHSAGSAH

*Piper runs away*

*Piper bumps into Leo*

Leo: Hey Pipes, you okay? You look kinda--

Piper: KISS ME BECAUSE JASON WAS MAKING OUT WITH REYNA AND I'M OVER EMOTIONAL TRASH NOW.

Leo: Wha--

*Piper makes out with Leo*

Calypso: DAHADES WOMAN?

~ "Percy looked at his best friend JASON GRACE."

I think you're confused because you spelt GROVER UNDERWOOD wrong.
(from WildFools. Literally, exact wording and everything. You are my new favorite person.)

~The main character is this all powerful demigod with random powers.

The last time I checked, children of Zeus don't shoot rainbow laserbeams from their nose.

~Me: *listing off every cliché plot line*

Me: Except the AUs.

AUs: WE ARE THE ONLY EXCEPTION.

[Insert old clip of Mongols slaughtering people here.]

~Wattpad PJO Fanfics:
Stealing watered down Fanfiction.net plots since 2010

~Me: "The 12-Year-Old"

Everyone: BUT IM 12 Y U MAKIN FUN OF ME?

Me: