(Published November 29th, 2015)
Canabowlprisms, Glen Coco, and Fifty Shades of Grace
~~~
~Octavian and Percy fighting to the death over a stuffed animal is now a thing.
Octavian: I AM BACK AND DEADER--I MEAN, BETTER-- THAN EVER, MOFOS! I AM HERE TO KILL ALL THE TEDDYBEARS! GIVE THEM TO ME SO I CAN FEED OFF OF CHILDREN'S LOST DREAMS AND HOPES!
Percy: NUUUUUU!!!! NOT MY BOOTIFUL BLU-BEARY! *hugs blue bear* I WILL NOT LET HER END UP LIKE HER COUSIN PERRY!
Octavian: Fine then! We shall fight to the death for Blu-Beary!
Percy: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
Annabeth: PERCY NUUUUUUU!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!
Grover: Percy, it's not worth it! Wait, I don't exist! *poofs out of existence*
Percy: *puts hand on Annabeth's shoulder* It is my duty.
Annabeth: *wipes single tear* Then do what you must, my love.
Percy: I will always love you, dearest. *flies away on Blackjack dramatically in the sunset*
Oh, right, got off track. Anyway...
Octavian: PREPARE TO MEET THY DOOM, PERSEUS ACHILLES JACKSON.
Percy: *le dramatic gasp* How do you know my middle name?
Octavian: Because Authors always make your middle name Achilles. Now, WE FIGHT TO THE DEATH! EN GARDE!
*Épées magically appear in their hands because The Author was watching the "Parent Trap" earlier and The Author felt in the fencing mood.*
*Octavian dramatically stabs Percy*
Percy: *falls dramatically* Tell Annabeth that I love her and that we are star-crossed lovers, fated to be reborn as a set of twins named Mabel and Dipper Pines because Pinecest is apparently a thing okay bye. *dies*
Octavian: YES. BLU-BEARY ISH MINE!!!! *Kills Blu-Beary.* I FEEL SO ALIVE!
(From @Unstable_Muffin )
~*After girl being abused*
Girl: My past was so terrible! I was always abused by my dad because The Author couldn't think of a better depressing past! *cries*
Boy: It's okay.... Um, yeah.
Girl: I'm just so emotionally torn right now that anybody could do anything to me that I'd be too sad and depressed to care!
Boy: Oh... right! *in mind* This is my cue!
*Boy makes out passionately with Girl*
Gods, this guy is such a--
Well, I can't put it any better than @_Lost_Demigod :
"What a dick mentally weak state as a sign of 'NOW'S MY CHANCE!!!' If a guy did that to ME, I'd shove him off. He's basically taking advantage of her weak state."
Will: *Z-snapped fingers* Mmm-hmm, she told him! You go, Glen Coco!
~The main character's parents are usually killed by a monster, and miraculously the main character isn't.
Probably because the main character still smells like BOOTY STANK because they haven't taken a shower in months.
Hmm, sounds like my ten-year-old sister... *looks away thoughtfully into the distance*
~Percy can now sing.
I don't know about you guys, but I always thought he'd sound like a dying whale when he sang.
And the whole camp has this singing contest, and everyone has the most beautiful singing voices.
What is this, High School Musical?
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Moments Worth Facepalming in Percy Jackson Fanfics
FanfictionJust typical stupid things I see in PJO fanfics. [Warning: Contains satire. If you can't handle that, then don't read. Literally not PC at all so just... be warned] ||Cover made by @lostamongstars|| Most Accomplished: #46 in Humor © Copyright ~ 201...
