Moments Worth Facepalming in Percy Jackson Fanfics

Bellatrix LeCrazyChick, McWeasely, and the New Headmaster of Hogwarts: Octavian!

(Published April 26th, 2015)

WARNING: HARRY POTTER SPOILERS. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ/WATCHED ALL THE SERIES, SKIP THIS CHAPPIE IF YOU PLAN TO.

Bellatrix LeCrazyChick, McWeasely, and the New Headmaster of Hogwarts: Octavian!

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~When the author threatens not to update until they get x amount of followers/comments/votes/reads.Bish, ain't NOBODY gonna read your story if you don't update! You'll just look lazy and needy. (From @StarCounting)

~WARNING: RANT AHEAD

So this isn't related to fanfics, but when I go on a PJO fan's profile, the first thing they'll say is that their a child of one of the big three, or Athena. Now, no hate, I can see why you did this. At first I didn't get Athena, maybe because everyone loves Annabeth? But since you have a wattpad and you're a fangirl... Yeah, most people on here SHOULD be children of Athena. And the big three thing, it's used often, but they're pretty powerful, so I can see where you're going with that. But sometimes I'll go on a profile and literally see this:"Hi, my name is Aquamarine, you can call me Aqua. I'm a daughter of Poseidon, but I'm blessed by all the gods.~Gryffindor~Shadow Hunter (I'm not saying that a lot of people use Shadow Hunter, I just need a filler)~Divergent/Dauntless" (Both are pretty popular.)Okay, can you get more cliche than that? Okay, just because Gryffindor and Dauntless/Divergent were the most popular things in books, doesn't mean it goes with your personality. I mean, this would be mine:"Hi, my name's Chilea, and I'm a daughter of Demeter and legacy of Apollo.~Hufflepuff~Amity." (Lol, I don't know where shadow hunter's from... Can somebody tell me? Is it that City of Bones book? Or was it Maze of Bones? No, that was 39 Clues... Idek.)As you can tell, I'm a peaceful person. But seriously, you never hear about any of the other Olympians (except those forbidden children of Artemis), Hufflepuff, or Amity. But guys, I know you guys want to be all-powerful, and I completely understand that. But does anyone even remember Hecate, the goddess of magic? She's pretty freaking cool if you ask me. I want to be a child of Hecate...Okay, sorry about that random rant, I just needed something for this. I don't want to offend any of you, because I'm sure I do have a few readers that are the things mentioned above, and honestly, I would be a daughter of the big three and Athena too, but I like Demeter and Apollo, and I took some tests and it said them so... NO OFFENSE. I'M NOT HATING. DON'T HATE, APPRECIATE, IT'S AN UN-NUDI TO DISCRIMINATE! (Whoa, don't know where that came from...)Okay, now back to your regular scheduled programming.

~When an author puts the lyrics to a whole freaking song.Let's be real: Who the Hades actually READS those things?

~The next things are from DaughterOfHermes419's "The Blessings of Hecate" I changed the wording to fit my style, but she pointed out the following things:

-"I am a daughter of Poseidon, but my mother is actually Bellatrix Lestrange. I go to Camp Half-Blood during the summer and Hogwarts during the school year." Girl, shut the Hades up. You ain't nobody's kid, first off, Poseidon wouldn't go out with that crazy chick, and second off, BELLATRIX IS A DEAD CRAZY CHICK. And third off, demiwizards, did I already mention O FREAKING P?

-American Exchange students. When in the Tartarus did Hogwarts have foreign exchange students? There's a Wizarding school in nearly every country! IT'S UNNEEDED.

-Those ships that the author created for their liking. Yeah, because Ron totally has the hots for Professor McGonagall. What would be their ship name anyway? McWeasley? That sounds like something somebody'd order at McDonalds.

Person: Um, yeah, can I have a large McWeasley with a Coke?

McDonalds Person: wtf?

-OC- I think I've covered this one already.

-The gods suddenly bless the demigods with all da powers in da world. Yeah, okay, have fun being fried to death by Zeus because you asked for his blessing.

-Since when is Percy qualified to teach at Hogwarts? WHY THE SHUCK IS PERCY TEACHING AT HOGWARTS? SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHO GAVE THIS MOFO A POSITION AT HOGWARTS? Oh right, it must've been the Headmaster Octavian.

-All the demigods MUST go to Hogwarts. I mean, I get that it's a huge castle and all, but is that really necessary? That's, like, 400 demigods in one castle. That'll probably double the size of Hogwarts! (Media)

-As soon as the demigods get to Hogwarts:Percy: Hey everyone, my name's Percy Jackson and I'm probably the most wanted demigod by all the monsters out there!

Filch: Who in the bloody hell is this mofo?

-All the dead characters come back to life:

Dumbledore: HAHA, YOU SHANKS THOUGHT I WAS DEAD!

Draco: But Snape killed you!

Snape: You should ALWAYS check to see if someone is dead.

Harry: Wait-

Luke: I bet you thought you saw the last of me!

Percy: But you killed yourself! Right? Yeah?

Snape: Does nobody ever listen to me?

Odysseus: I listen.

Snape: Nobody was talking to you.

-Earth Maternal Unit (Gaea), Not the Time Lord (Kronos), and Mr. Not Nosey Enough (You-Know-Who) rise from the dead to be evil. Please reference to my earlier chapter about Googling villains.

-Look, we all know Blood of Olympus had a sucky ending. But the end of is set in stone, there's no need for you to change it for your fanfic's convenience.

-Percy and Harry immediately hate each other for no reason whatsoever. Like, not after a while of getting to know each other, but as soon as they look into each other's green orbs: HATE.

(Okay, that's all from @DaughterOfHermes419. Now back to your regularly scheduled programing.)

~Percy and Harry are in the same grade. Does nobody remember the fact that in 2005, Percy was 12 and Harry was 16? No? Well, then Percy was 12 in 2005 while Harry was 16. Now you remember.

And that's just by publish date. Harry was born in 1980, so he's WAAAAY older than Percy.

So no.

They're not in the same grade.

~Why don't the demigods go to school with Rose and Scorpius and Albus and all them?

Seriously.

They're around the same age as the demigods.

(Sorry for the long wait and short chappy, haven't been on Wattpad much lately due to the reading of paper books. I had a long schedule: The Maze Runner, The Murder Complex, Scumble, Scarlet, Eragon, Everlost, then the the rest of TMR series and Lunar Chronicles. I'm only on Scarlet right now... *-o- *Sighs* Anyway, I'll try to read more fics and stuff. Anyway, I pretty much owe this chapter to for that whole thing. I'll probably write another Demigods at Hogwarts chappie if I actually get around reading it. And I'm still getting hit in the head by Writer's Brick. So yeah. And now for an ad:

If you want to see a Demigods at Hogwarts story without the above stuff mentioned, go read The Blessings of Hecate by DaughterOfHermes419. Seriously, it's awesome!

Anyway, as always, BYERSIEBYES MY FLUFFY ENCHILEADAS!!!!!

Stay Perky,

With Love, Pacific Green Sea Turtles, and Fluffy Pies,

~Chilea, daughter of Demeter and legacy of Apollo.❀ ☼