Daddy's little girl |Muke|

45.

Luke's POV

"Mum I-"

*slap*

"How dare you not tell me you had a boyfriend! I am your mother you know! I get worried about whether my son has found the love of his life yet. I didn't even get to meet the poor lad" my mum yelled. I pouted holding my cheek the stinging sensation still there. I kinda deserved that anyways. I haven't spoken to my mum in a long while. I was afraid too.

"Aww c'mon here baby I'm so sorry. It's been such a long time my Lukey" my mom sighed with open arms. I immediately went into her arms without a hesitation and broke down. I didn't know I needed my mum most until now. She always makes me feel better no matter what mood I'm in.

"There there it's gonna be okay momma is here" she rubbed my back soothenly. I practically dug my head into her neck longing for her embrace that familiar scent of vanilla soon filling my lungs. I smiled in her chest having some quality time with my mum even though I'm a broken mess.

"I'm sorry" I sniffled pulling away so we both could sit down on the sofa. Liam had already moved to a different room so he could give us a bit of privacy.

"Honey don't."

"No mum I'm such a fuck up. I screwed up my whole life. I lost everything just because I was stupid and arrogant. When I first learned I was talented singer I took advantage of that. I didn't even call you like I promised you I would. I'm such a horrible person mum. I don't deserve you right now. Hell I don't deserve to be sharing the same oxygen as you" I told her as more tears were streaming down my face.

"Don't be going around and saying that nonsense! You are my son and I love you. No matter what you do I'm gonna be by your side. Maybe you are a horrible person but that doesn't mean there isn't good left inside of you. You're a good person for realising your mistakes and fixing them" she replied kissing my forehead and wiping away my tears. A small smile appeared on my face grateful for such a wonderful mum I have. I gave her a peck on her cheek before laying down on her lap. I yawned as she moved her hands through my hair comfortably.

There was still one question that has been bothering me for years.

"Mum"

"Hmm"

"Are you proud of me?" I asked turning my gaze to her.

"I've always been proud of you my Lukey. Always."

-

I looked up to the sky that reminded me of his eyes. Oh how much I adored them. I wish you were right here next to me. I shouldn't have let you go. I shouldn't have done what I did but what's done is done.

Oh say can you see this is not who I'm suppose to be without you I'm nobody killing time

The thought of knowing I can't have you kills me. The touch of knowing you're not besides me drivines me insane. The feeling of knowing that you're nowhere near me eats me alive. There's nothing that I can do to make you mine again.

I've tried to deceive tried to win you desperately now I'm lost in the swirling sea of your sorry eyes

You were mine for a night. I was out of my mind. You were mine for a night. I don't know how to say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye. Goodbyes are like stabs to the heart. They hurt so fucking goddamn much. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to let you go. I hurt myself by hurting you.

My world was fucked up. Torn in two with nothing to hold. All of that changed when I layed eyes on you.

All my life I've been waiting for moments to come when I catch fire and wash over you like the sun

I don't want to live without you. I promised you forever and forever is what I'm going to give you. Well it was what I was gonna give you until he took you away from me. I hate him. I hate that he's taken the one thing I can't live without. I hate that he has so much power. I hate that he broke me.

I won't let him. I won't let him win. No. I will have you back. I will love you again. I will be your forever no matter if it kills me.

I will fight to fix up and get things right

You will be mine again Michael Gordon Clifford.

I can't change the world but maybe I'll change your mind

FIGHT ME

ALSO MY BABY'S BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY AUOSOALSS FUCKING 20 WHAT HE WAS 7 SECONDS AGO WHAT HAPPENED

I'm so fucking proud of him. I love you Michael so so much x stay punk rock my lil jelly bean

And another thing I was also a year clean yesterday ).( a year ago today on my Michael's b-day I promised not only him but myself that I would stop cutting and I've kept it for a year :') he means so much to me

I love you Michael <3