When you see me, what do you think? What do you feel?
Do you feel regret for knowing me? Do you feel disappointment for what I have become? Or do you feel sadness for not being able to understand me in a way that's appealing?
Do you think highly of me? Do you like being around me? Do you want me to stay? Do you want me to forget about you?
The list of "Do you...'s" are endless in the dark abyss that is my mind. Endless doubts and insecurities that plague my dreams and thought process. It has come to the point where it is involuntary. Whenever I see you and them, I cannot help but think about all the things that make me an unappealing human being.
It's not your fault, not at all! You can't help that you're nearly flawless. You can't help that you have desirable persona. You haven't done anything to hurt me directly or indirectly. It's just that, whenever I see you, I feel... invisible. The feeling of regret ripples through me like a killer wave. It hits me like a brick wall. I regret everything about myself. My past, the present, and what I'm going to do in the future.
They are a different story. They're poison. They fill my veins with toxic thoughts and unstable doubts. You don't realize it, but that's okay. I'll conceal it long enough, if they make you happy. If they make you smile, that's worth the mental pain.
Nobody would've suspected that the obnoxious, naïve little Indian girl that sat up in the front of the class because her vision was bad would turn into this trainwreck. I guess that's the price of time.
This was directed to many, many people. I was inspired by many other rant authors to do this Indirect message business.
YOU ARE READING
Teen Idle
Random[FKA: Colored Lines] ❝I wanna be an idle teen...❞ This is my excuse to rant and rave about oh-so-fun topics and for you to agree/disagree with my opinions. ~Updated sporadically~
