Teen Idle

|27| - Platonic Touching

This is a weird topic...

This really started in the 9th grade, but probably had roots farther back in time. I have come to the realization that I am not fond of people touching me in a friendly way. That includes hugging from the front, back, or side, hand shakes, back pats and rubs, shoulder touching, putting your arm around me, tickling, touching my neck, and kisses on the cheek.

I'm a weird person but my friends think it cute when I squeal in protest. In reality, I get REALLY uncomfortable. Emphasize "really."

My heart starts beating super fast, I stand about as straight as a soldier, and I get really awkward/clumsy. I know it's not normal and one of my friends keeps telling me it's perfectly fine to feel that way, but I just don't understand this.

I WANT to embrace people. I want to be able to put my arm on their shoulder and hug them tight. But, whenever I do, I feel WRONG. I feel bad and self-conscious for no reason.

I think this roots back to all the times my mother touched my belly and called me "fat" and the fact that my parents never engaged in anything "loving or family touch-y feel-y" such as hugging and kisses on the head. Hell, the most my parents would do was carry me and hold my hand. No kissing. Rarely any hugs.

So, if you know me in person, don't kill me for not telling you. For those who are here on Wattpad, do you guys sometimes feel the same way? Is there a word for this? Do you have any friends that feel this way? Share down in the comments!

#shoutout to my main bish stephaniebedoya because she is queen, she is very small and cuddly, and is my sexy Scorpio buddy.