Teen Idle

|12| - Biggest Pet Peeve

This not only bothers me, this really, really hurts my feelings.

When people make plans in my face, it really stings, you know? I don't even care if it's accidental, if you are making plans with people and you are not inviting me, take it to another group chat. Take it someplace elsewhere. 

I never do this to people because I know how shitty it feels. Some of my friends think I'm invisible and do this to me and because I'm a socially awkward mess, I can't tell them straight up.

This happened recently to me, actually. A friend of mine was having his birthday party on a Saturday and a few people were coming. A couple of the people that were going were talking to each other about it on Hangouts.

Person 1: Omg, are you going tomorrow?

Person 2: Hell yea, are you?

Person 1: yea lol.

Me: Oh where r u guys goin?

Person 1: (insert name)'s birthday party.

Me: Oh... cool! Have fun!

Person 2: do u kno who else is going?

Person 1: I know (insert name) and (insert name) is going but (other person) is sick so she wont  be able to go. 

Person 2: awww man

Me: *silently loathes my existence and my inability to make friends*

I shit you not, I spent the entire day feeling like crap. I kept asking myself, why do people always do this to me? Why is it that my parents are so adamant about me not hanging out with my friends and/or the opposite gender? 

The last time I asked my parents to hang out with my mixed group of friends, they started spewing racist shit and told me that I was "acting like a teenager" (as if that was offensive). They also told me that I was acting like "one these white people" for trying to actually have a social life. They threatened to move me to a different school district. 

Now, mother and father dear, you constantly make fun of the fact that I don't have friends and I never invite them over, yet you complain when I want to spend time with them.

You wonder why I spend so much time texting my friends, but you never let me meet up with them.

You tell me to "talk to your friends in school" but then tell me that education is more important than anything and that I should spend more time focusing in school.

You wonder why nobody invites me to anything when you don't let me go in the first place!

Now, mother and father dear, do you think that my lack of friends and a social life is my fault? 

All of my friends seem to pity the fact that I can't go anywhere, yet only a few understand and respect the reason why. Somebody share my suffering.