When you and Ryan started dating, you thought it'd last forever. That you had found your Mr. Right.
There was nothing wrong with him, he loved you more than anything, you adored him and he meant everything to you, but maybe your relationship worked better when you didn't live together.
You had been together for few months only when he asked you to move with him to Edmonton. Gladly, you accepted, believing your relationship would advance from that point. Well, you had been wrong. Instead of things getting better, they had gotten bad as soon as you two started discussing how to furnish and decorate an apartment. After few arguments, which included you crying and him storming out of the apartment, you had finally reached an agreement, but your relationship had turned south and as much as you hated to admit, you started doubting relationship between Ryan and you would work out.
A year later you were still with him, still coping with his downfalls, tough losses, self-criticism, trying your best not to lose your mind. Of course there were not only losses and that was when Ryan was completely different, laughing, cracking jokes and being the most caring boyfriend in the world. But his downfalls... you felt like you were drifting apart with every argument you had.
One night he came home, dropped his bag on a hallway and entered in your shared bedroom with empty eyes and lowered shoulders.
"Oh, Ry," you whispered as soon as he stepped in. You put down a book you were reading and crawled off the bed. Your feet slowly brought you to him and you lightly wrapped your arms around his neck. But he stood in your embrace motionlessly as a sculpture, not a single effort to hug you back given.
"I screwed up everything," he mumbled more to himself than to you. You looked up at him and saw how pale he was. His skin was so white, he reminded you of a ghost and you thought it was something more than just a loss.
"Ry, baby, what's -"
"Don't 'baby' me!" he exploded and shoved you away. You were shocked by his behavior and he noticed that, immediately regretting his outburst: "Y/N, I am sorry. I-I..."
"Save it," you hissed on a verge of tears and ran downstairs to your living room. You collided on a couch, lightly sobbing in your sleeve. Not five minutes passed when you heard Ryan's feet thumping down the stairs, following you.
"Y/N? Please, don't cry. I am so sorry," he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You let him pull you closer, hoping beating of his heart would calm you down like it had always done, but that time didn't help. You stood still in his embrace.
"I am so sorry, baby. I know I shouldn't put it out on you," he sighed and kissed you on a forehead.
"So am I, Ry."
"What for?" he asked his head away, clearly surprised and shocked. Looking at his eyes, you exhaled deeply: "Ry, I am sick and tired of being only someone you can yell at and put out all the frustration. I love you, but this relationship is going nowhere and it's driving me insane. Ry, it's suffocating me."
"Don't say that! It won't happen again, I promise. You know I can't live without you."
"You've said that the last time. And once before. And you always break your promises, you always put it out on me. Ry, it's for the best."
"Y/N, I-I... sorry won't be enough, right?"
"Not anymore," you whispered and gently removed his arms. Free of his embrace, you sprinted upstairs, ignoring his calls to come back and talk through it. As soon as you entered your bedroom, you locked the door and sat on the floor, lightly weeping with your head leant on your knees. You spent few moments like that before you got up and started packing. Last thing you put in your bag was Oilers' hoodie, Ryan's last birthday gift he got you. You buried your head in a fabric, inhaling the smell of it. Even though it was yours, it smelled of him. That brought tears back to your eyes and you had to try your best with pulling yourself back together.
You were about to walk out when you spotted a framed picture of Ryan and you. The photo was taken by his team mate, Jordan Eberle, when Ryan invited you to join him and few of his team mates and their girlfriends, to spend weekend with them somewhere in a Canadian wilderness. And as cliché as may sounded, he had a taken a picture of you two on a lake shore with a sun drowning to the lake behind your backs. Your hand hesitated above the photo for few seconds before you decided you would leave it to Ryan. After all, you were leaving him. It'd be nice to leave him his favorite photo.
You unlocked the door and saw Ryan's red eyes: "Where are you going to go?"
"I don't know yet. But please, don't try to find me. At least for a while."
"If that's what you want. If that's what will make you happy?"
You looked him straight in the eyes and asked quietly: "Do you think I am happy?"
When he didn't respond, you continued: "I don't want to leave you, I don't want to do this. But it will be the best for the both of us."
Before you hurried out, you lightly hugged him for the last time. When you got the ground floor, you looked at the stairs, like you were thinking about going back. But going back seemed like an option for only a second before you ran to your car. You sat in and started an engine. About ten minutes passed before you stopped and that was when everything seemed to come after you. Leaning on a steering wheel, you burst into unstoppable tears. You felt your hand stretching to your phone with only one intention- to call Ryan and apologize. But before you did that, your brain won over your heart and instead of calling Ryan you called Jordan, Ry's team mate and his best friend. You probably wouldn't called him if he had been only related to Ryan, but you two had had a history as well. Your friendship started when Ryan introduced you to his team mate and he had been by your side ever since. And you were always there for him as well.
It seemed like you were connected telepathically, because your phone rang exactly when you were about to call him.
"Y/N, Ry has just called me. I barely understood what he was saying. Can you tell me what the hell is going on?"
"May I come over, please?"
"At least tell Ry where are you going to be staying?"
"No! I don't want him to know. And, please, you must not tell him."
"I should-"
"No! Promise me you won't tell him. Promise me."
With a deep sigh he promised you to remain quiet and not tell Ryan where were you staying.
"Oh, and Jordan? Can you please make your couch a temporary bed?"
"Excuse me?"
"Only for a week, please?"
Before he answered, you knew you had convinced him.
Exactly a week later someone knocked on Jordan's door while you two were watching The Walking Dead. Jordan did anything he could to keep you distracted from thinking about Ryan, even if that included watching show about flesh eating zombies and a bunch of survivors.
"Expecting anyone?" Jordan asked on his way to the door. You shook your head, telling him you were expecting no one. For the last week Jordan had been your only company and you talked about pretty much everything, most of the time wrapped in blankets Jordan brought for you and himself while sipping hot tea.
Now you knew how scared he was what would happen if his game would worsen. You knew his fears and he knew yours. But no matter how your strong was or how close you were, there was nothing more than a friendship between the two of you.
"Ry? What are you doing here, man?" Jordan's surprised question pulled you out of your thoughts. Ryan came to Jordan's house in the middle of the night? Curiosity didn't let you sit, so you got up and followed Jordan.
"Is Y/N here?" you heard Ryan's cracked voice and your heart melted a bit.
"No, she..."
"Yes, I am," you shut Jordan's answer and leant on a hallway wall.
"Y/N, I thought you don't want to be found."
"It's been a week. Jordy, thanks for being such an amazing friend."
"You knew where she was? And you didn't even bother telling me where my girlfriend was?" Ryan asked, slight anger to be heard in his voice.
"I ordered him to stay quiet. I needed space."
"So did I. But now I need only you," he said with glowing eyes and pulled you close to him. You heard Jordan chuckle and say: "I'll give you some time."
As soon as you two were alone, Ryan began talking, words coming out of his mouth with a speed of rocket: "Y/N, I am so so sorry. Words can't describe how sorry I am. I took you for guaranteed, I expected you to take every shit I gave you calmly and I never thought of you as of a girl who would leave everything behind to be with me. Her family, friends, life, dreams... everything to date a hockey player. I need you to come back."
"I overreacted, Ry. I forgot you are a professional athlete, not just a normal man."
"So are we friends again?" he asked jokingly, but you saw in his eyes, rejection would destroy him.
"We are," you smiled lightly and pulled him in for a kiss.
For bandobsessedbeauty ,sorry for the wait and I hope you like it:)
