Random KNY one shots [REQUESTS CLOSED]

Emotional pain | {DouKaza}

Theme: Angst+Fluff

Note: Manga spoilers<3

Tags: @Juniper_Tsuki i'm only tagging you bc ik you won't see this 🤩 (I don't think she's been active on wattpad...? only discord ig)

Have you ever felt guilty for something at an excrutiating level, to the point you feel that you can no longer live, no longer feel and you go numb, not wanting to live, anymore, just wanting to end everything? And yet, you don't know why. You don't know why you feel like that, you could never understand yourself, but you still—still—feel so fucking guilty. 

Douma sat with his head buried in his hands, wishing he could rid of this ache in him, wanting to understand what the hell he'd done to make himself feel like this. 

Footsteps, quiet, familiar.

He turned.

"Akaza-dono?" 

Uppermoon three stood at the doorway, his arms crossed, eyebrows raised. "Didn't know you spent your free time crying," he said.

"I'm not crying!" Douma protested. 

Akaza sighed and walked forward, untangling his arms and reaching out, wiping Douma's cheek was strange tenderness. "You're crying. You literally have tears staining your cheeks," he said, showing him the tear drop he'd gotten on his finger.

Douma reached up and rubbed at his eyes. "No... I just got something in my eye," he said, pouting.

"Whatever you say."

"Why are you here, Akaza-dono?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Because the sun rose and this place had to be the only close shelter," Akaza said, rolling his eyes. "Just my luck."

Douma beamed. "We can spend time together!" he said.

"Fuck no, I'm not spending any time with you." Akaza turned abruptly. "I was planning to not even talk to you but I heard someone crying."

"I wasn't crying," Douma whined. Then remembered why he had been and said, quietly for he was afraid Akaza would only call him stupid, "Akaza-dono, do you know why I feel guilty?"

Akaza paused in his tracks. "Guilty? Of what?" 

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "But it hurts."

The shorter Uppermoon turned. "Hurt? How?"

Douma placed a hand to his chest, pressing slightly. "Like pain that wasn't there but hurt a lot," he murmured. "I could tell, only, that it was guilt. I... don't know why, or how, or what happened, or anything. Only... what."

"Oh." Akaza blinked. "Do you have any idea why? Did you recently do something regrettable?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. 

Douma shook his head. "If I did, I wouldn't know. I never know." He looked down. 

Akaza sighed, moving forward until they stood face to face. "Listen, guilt is like a form of regret that comes if you did something you felt you shouldn't have or if you didn't do something when you felt you should've. Something like that. Might not be obvious to you since you're a dumbass, but try thinking about if you know anytime that might fit my description." 

Douma nodded, sitting down on the cushion he always sat on while he spoke to his patients, except this time he was the patient being spoken to, helped.

Akaza sighed and sat down as well, figuring nothing bad would come out of this anyways. Besides, if he made Douma realize how to understand emotions maybe he would stop bothering the shit out of him.