Fuck. I'm sorry. | {SaneGiyuu}

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Theme: Angst

Note: TW: SELF HARM, APHENPHOSMPHOBIA (being touched), PANIC ATTACKS, *MENTIONS (not actively, only hinted)* OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT/ASSAULT/R@PE I THINK, DON'T CONTINUE IYD WANT THAT. 

Modern AU, they're both in highschool, ages idc <33, pretend there's dorms, ehm.. they share one which is how their relationship came to be, uh, yeah i'm just making this up as i write help (no plot ideas woo-)
Erm I had to look up phobias and I found Apeirophobia which is the fear of infinity or eternity.. Which I might have-

Anyways, trying smth different for this one!! More Sanemi angst than my usual of Giyuu for SaneGiyuu<3


Sanemi shook, drawing the glass down his inner thigh. His shorts, rolled up as far as they could go, were stained with blood both fresh and dried. He looked at the blood and he paused, his mind drawing blank.

What was he doing? Why was he doing this?

The door opened and Sanemi looked up. He'd forgotten to lock it.

Giyuu took one look at Sanemi and then cried out, "Sanemi!" He quickly snatched the glass from him. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Sanemi went quiet. He didn't know what he was doing. 

"Sanemi Shinazugawa," Giyuu said, his voice shaky but stern. "Listen to me. You cannot cut yourself. You must not. Understood?"

His hands grasped Sanemi's and the albino male nodded, slowly. He looked scared of something now. Giyuu didn't understand. Why was Sanemi's like this, suddenly?

Hadn't... hadn't Sanemi said, some time ago when he'd found Giyuu with a knife to his own throat, that he must never die? He must never hurt himself? (:^ don't do that, please)

So, why was Sanemi doing this. What was it?

Sanemi opened his mouth as if to say something then closed it. Giyuu tilted his head then, remembering Sanemi's cuts, quickly addressed the topic once more. 

"We have to get you cleaned up. Go step in the bathtub."

Sanemi did as he was told silently, numbly. 

Giyuu turned on the water and the two were silent as they watched the clear liquid slowly turn pink from the blood. 

Sanemi sat in the water, waiting, watching. Eventually, the water was up to Sanemi's waist and Giyuu turned it off. 

"Do you want me to help?" Giyuu asked, moving closer so he could reach into the water. His hand hovered over Sanemi's thigh, waiting for a response.

At this, the latter jerked away suddenly and shook his head violently. "No," he mumbled. 

Startled, Giyuu moved away. "Oh, uhm, alright. But I'm going to stay in here to make sure you do it. You can keep on your clothes if you want but you have to wash yourself."

Sanemi nodded rapidly and hurridly rubbed at his thighs, washing blood into the water. He didn't notice the pain as he did so, too panicked to think about it. 

Giyuu hovered there worridly. What was wrong with Sanemi? Had something happened that day? He'd seemed chipper just yesterday.. 

Once Giyuu was satisfied that Sanemi had cleaned the wounds properly, he retrieved some bandages and ordered his boyfriend to wrap them around his upper legs (i almost wrote uppermoons oops) tightly. 

Sanemi did so and when he was finished, Giyuu gave him a towel to wrap around his waist to keep the water from getting all over their dorm. 

Then they were silent again, unsure what to do. Giyuu was nervous, almost scared of Sanemi. He didn't know what to do because Sanemi had always been the one to help Giyuu. Sanemi had never let himself be helped. And he'd never shown a sign of needing it. But now.. now was different.

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